#82 - Closing Time - Tips for Navigating Hard Endings

"It was so magical because it was finite." - Christine Gale
This Thanksgiving week, my heart is brimming with both gratitude and grief. Life often brings us moments when something beloved comes to an end—whether it's a chapter, a season, or a role we've embraced wholeheartedly. Come along with me as I share what I'm learning during my “Closing Time”, a bittersweet time of letting go.
When we navigate life transitions, big or small, letting go of what sets the rhythm of life can be jarring. I’m sharing my personal journey—how I’m processing the end of an incredible 19-year run as a soccer mom—and offering you my top practical tips for walking through gratitude, grief, and into the next chapter. If you’re facing a closing time of your own, this episode is here to help you acknowledge your feelings, find hope, and start embracing what’s next.
Sister, life’s transitions can feel like waves knocking you off balance, but with the right tools and mindset, you will find your footing again.
If this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who might need encouragement right now. And if you enjoyed this episode, it would mean the world if you left a review and shared Girl Out of Order with your community.
There’s so much more coming in 2025, and I’m beyond excited to have you along for the journey! 
With love and gratitude,
Christine 

[2:30] - Gratitude and Grief: The complexity of being thankful while letting go of something precious.
[6:38] - The Soccer Chapter Ends: Reflecting on the end of my daughter’s soccer career and its impact on our family’s rhythm.
[10:12] - When One Door Closes: Shifting perspective to see endings as transitions to new beginnings.
[13:24] - Feel the Feels: Why acknowledging pain is a necessary first step toward healing.
[15:02] - Reframing the Narrative: How changing your focus can bring hope and excitement for the future.
[19:18] - Self-Compassion is Key: Small but powerful acts of kindness that foster resilience during transitions.
[22:59] - Movement for the Mind and Body: How physical activity can anchor and heal you during tough times.

Transcript

Girl Out Of Order (00:02.178)
Hey there, sister. Welcome back to the Girl Out of Order podcast. It is Thanksgiving week and my goodness gracious, do we have so much to be thankful for. And my heart right now is so full of gratitude and grief. And so today's episode, I'm calling closing time because that song is

completely running through my head. If you've ever watched The Office, you know when Andy plays, closing time. good grief, now I'm never gonna get out of my head. Because I need to smile.

through the pain, through the grief, and through the letting go. So in today's episode on this Thanksgiving week, we're gonna talk about closing chapters of our lives. And I'm gonna give you my best practical tips from the trenches on how to process major life shifts.

when things that you love, things that gave your life vibrancy, things that were the anchors for the rhythm of your life and your calendar and your seasons come to an end. What do we do?

Girl Out Of Order (01:30.476)
When the expected ending happens, how do we process that? How do we move forward? How do we walk this path of gratitude and grief? We're talk about that today because like you know, if you've listened to me for more than five seconds, this is a Come Along With Me podcast. And so I'm just sharing on my heart what I'm going through because I

have come to understand that when I share from my heart and my experiences and what I'm learning, other people find a home. And so this girl out of order that is showing up for you today on this Thanksgiving week, she is hurting, she is sad, she is in the process of letting go, and she is so, pardon my language, really fucking grateful because

Girl Out Of Order (02:30.932)
What a beautiful life that I have, that I had something so great that it makes it hard to say goodbye. I stole that from my daughter's teammate, Ellie, when she put her post on Facebook with all of her pictures from her entire soccer career. And she said, what a gift that I had something so great that it makes it so hard to say goodbye. God.

Not to cry. Because, sister, as I record this on this Thanksgiving week, I know with zero percent doubt that there are women out there right now that are looking at this Thanksgiving week and thinking, grateful, grateful, grateful. I've got to be grateful. Let me just put on that heart of gratitude. they just, if I just shift my state and live in a beautiful state and all of that is actually true and possible and available for you and.

Notice I didn't say but. And you can still be grateful and allow yourself the natural process of grieving when things come to an end.

So as I'm talking in your ear or if you're watching me on screen, still talking in your ear, now think about it.

Is there something that you are having to let go of? Or is there an ending or a letting go or a shedding that you've done recently that is keeping you stuck?

Girl Out Of Order (04:14.338)
Because if there is, I've got great news for you. I don't have a magic bullet. don't have a pill you can take or here's your five step program. But what I can offer you is acknowledgement, hope, and a couple practical things that you can do today to better navigate closing time. Because that's what I'm doing right now.

So let me just start out by saying it's hard and it's okay. In fact, it's necessary for you to acknowledge that this freaking sucks. It's okay to acknowledge that it sucks. Don't try to put up, what's that phrase? Have a stiff upper lip. What the hell does that even mean? I don't even know what that means, but don't stiffen your spine and put your shoulders back or as.

The marvelous Mrs. Maisel says, tits up. You can do that for sure. But if you are not acknowledging how freaking hard it is when big things come to an end, you're never going to authentically and congruently, and in my opinion, healthily, if that's a word, I don't know if I over conjugated, you're not going to get through this in the best way possible. So let me just tell you where I'm at.

This past weekend, I was so excited to attend my daughter's NCAA soccer tournament. For the last three years, her team has made it to either the Sweet 16 or the Elite 8. If you're not familiar with how sports tournaments work, it starts with a team, 62 sport teams, and it goes down to 32. And then you get to go to the Sweet 16, which is like the really big deal. And Chelsea's been on the most incredible team with the most phenomenal

human beings, athletes aside, it has been one of the best rides of our entire life. For Shawn and I, it has been the rhythm. It has been the rhythm of our calendar. We have been soccer parents for 19 years. And every year when we plan out our schedule, we plan it out based upon soccer. And if that seems, you know, kind of like, please.

Girl Out Of Order (06:37.986)
Please hear me out. Don't dismiss it if you're not into sports. Just listen to what I'm saying. It doesn't matter what it is, but if you have something that has provided a rhythm of your life for a long time and then all of a sudden it's over. It's like you've been pushing so hard trying to open this door and you put all your energy and weight and then somebody just opens the door and you fall and you just feel bewildered and maybe banged up. You see,

This team has had a rough year and they had a great year, but they've had a ton of injuries and they've had some losses. And so we drew a really, really, okay, I'm just gonna bitch and complain for two seconds, a really unfair first round, should have been sweet 16 round. We went and go against some very difficult teams and this was a really hard first game.

And we tied it up and my daughter, that somebody followed, if you know anything about soccer, she followed in the box. so my daughter was the one to take the penalty kick and it would have won the entire game with like 90 seconds to go. And my daughter is such a phenomenal soccer player. She hit the perfect shot and the goalie made a save of a lifetime. And she wasn't the hero that she should have been. And we knew her heart would be broken if we lost this game.

And it went into one overtime, still tied. And the first person to score is the one that moves on to the next round. And at the start of the second overtime, this incredible player on the other team dribbled through three of our players and shot a perfect, just an improbable shot past our goalie. And my child's season and soccer career and our role as soccer parents was over. Just like.

And as I watch these girls hearts shatter on the field.

Girl Out Of Order (08:40.982)
I couldn't breathe. I still struggle, to be honest. It's not been that long.

When someone you love, especially your child, is hurting and you're watching them process the first major ending of something so important to them, it framed her identity in many respects. It helped her feel special. It gave her her friends.

Even she said right after the game, what am I going to do for exercise? How am I going to stand? Like the flood of loss that came out of her mouth was almost unbearable. My husband and I are grieving because our, not only is our child hurting, but our season ended and we usually have lots of fun still, but it's the start for us of a lot of endings over the next year.

You see, our last child is gonna graduate from high school. Our second child's gonna graduate from college and our third child's gonna graduate from junior college and we might seriously go from a house filled with four people and two kids and crazy schedules to just the two of us.

And this soccer ending for us is so symbolic because it's taken our breath away and it's forced us to reckon with closing time.

Girl Out Of Order (10:12.408)
And I can say all these things to you that people have said to me and I know them to be true so they're not trying. Hey, when there's something ends, there's a new beginning and when then one door closes and the door opens and all of those things can be true and it's okay, it's necessary, it's appropriate, it's congruent to.

Girl Out Of Order (10:35.928)
So what I want to say to you today sisters, if you're facing a closing time of any kind,

I remember, I didn't even finish my sentence and I was on to the next story, so let me just finish my sentence. If you're facing a closing time of any kind, the closing of a chapter, whether it's a divorce, I talked to a friend today going through a really difficult divorce, whether it's divorce or a job loss.

Girl Out Of Order (11:05.206)
Or another friend of mine had to come to the conclusion after many, many, many, years that she was never going to be a biological mom. Or letting go of a parent. Or becoming an empty nester or a child going off to college. Or even those small chapters of life. For me, when I finally had to...

embrace the fact that I was no longer going to be a competitive runner. That was closing time. That was closing a chapter of my life. If you're going through something like that, I want you to know, I see you, I hear you, I am you, and there's hope and there's healing. And yes, there are beginnings. So I just want to share with you today in this Thanksgiving week.

just some things that I am doing to navigate this season of letting go, this season of closing chapters. It means so much to me, to us, and I just wanna help you in whatever way I can to help you navigate it. Because when we are learning things and we can share them with people, guess what happens? It gets a little bit better. Because when we bring

from our pain, our pain is less painful and the purpose becomes bigger and the healing is supercharged. So I've already kind of given you my first tip and I don't even know how many tips I'm gonna share so I'm not even gonna tell you how many tips I'm gonna share until I get to the end but let's start with number one. You gotta acknowledge your feel and feel your feelings. You gotta feel the feels, sister.

Bottling up your emotions and pretending that it doesn't hurt is going to prolong your pain. Acknowledging your genuine emotions is going to help you process them and move forward. For me, it's the closing of the chapter of being a soccer mom, which I really freaking love. It's a closing chapter of being on the sidelines with all of these parents I've done life with for four years and I really freaking love and they live really far away. And so it's a closing time.

Girl Out Of Order (13:23.096)
those friendships because it's not realistic. Not that they don't care about them, but it's never going to be what it was. So I'm acknowledging that and saying it out loud. And sometimes when I say it out loud, I can't breathe and I have to say, okay, maybe it's a little bit too much. But here's an action step for you. I want you to create for you a safe space. I hate that phrase, but I'm going to reclaim it from the weirdness that it's gotten over the years, but create a safe space for you to journal, cry, talk.

Maybe just to a trusted friend, to God, your therapist. But don't pretend it doesn't hurt.

So.

The second tip I have, and this is what I'm actually in the midst of doing, even as I record this, I am going to reframe this ending as a new beginning, not just for me, but for my child. Because if I picture my child in the emotional hell that I know that she's in, I cannot breathe. But if I look at her life, her big, beautiful, gorgeous, unfolding life with all of its potential, then I get excited. I get hopeful and then I can be a beacon and a light for her, but also for us.

So what have we done? We begun scheduling things as, my gosh, I sound like an old lady. I embrace my oldenness. We're gonna start pickleball. We are going on a date tomorrow night. We are just gonna go out and do the things we used to do when we weren't gone every freaking weekend since August for soccer. We're gonna catch a movie and get dinner and laugh and play cribbage and walk through the mall.

Girl Out Of Order (15:01.686)
and start daydreaming and planning. And we are going to start planning and booking a vacation next fall to Europe for the first time. We've been wanting to go since 1998. Yeah, it's very specific. There's a story to that. I'll tell you another time.

Girl Out Of Order (15:18.518)
And we're gonna get to know each other again. Shifting your mindset from loss to transition is so important because here's the thing, if you've heard me talk about this before, there's the triad, right? Where we change our physiology first, we stand with, okay, this is when tits up actually comes into play. Put your shoulders back, put your head up to the sky, look up at your creator and be grateful and be thankful and say, I am going to choose to focus on what I have, not what I've lost.

I am going to choose to focus on the fact that the reason this was so magical is because it was finite. Those are my own words. My quote is the empowereds for this week because dammit, I'm clinging to that. Let me say it again.

This season of soccer for the last 19 years was so magical, so precious, so important, so touching because it was finite. Because it had an ending, it was just so much more magical.

And I'm choosing the words. So that's the third part of the triad, physiology, focus, and language. I'm going to choose to talk about this, not as, all this loss, but this is a transition to what's next. And I'm going to reclaim the next decades as going to be the best, most fulfilling, different, but more interesting. Now we get to actually start planning for us. What do we want? What do we love? What do we hate? What do we enjoy doing? We get to start.

asking those questions because now our schedule is opening up. And yes, it might feel yawning and a little bit scary because it's so different, but it's going to be a transition to what's next. Maybe we can start a business or buy that Airbnb, travel. We can just decide on a Friday night, you know what, we're going away for the weekend and we can just freaking do it. So here's your action step. Even if your pen is shaking on that beautiful journal or notepad, just write down three things that you can now do.

Girl Out Of Order (17:23.37)
or explore because of this ending. I just shared ours with you.

Girl Out Of Order (17:31.148)
Number three, girl, practice self-compassion. And I don't say that lightly.

It is so important not to be self-critical during times of major change. I was just looking at Facebook and one of my neighbors, we walk our dogs together a lot and I know that she had sent her firstborn off to college and I know it had been so hard. She's got two children, one daughter, one son, and she's very close with her daughter. And her daughter was an athlete so she got to go to all our games and her daughter was going to school in Colorado and we live in LA.

So she doesn't have like what we have because we could drive back and forth to all these games. She couldn't even go to the games. And I just saw on Facebook the beautiful reunion at the airport because she's home for the first time for Thanksgiving.

Why do I bring this up? Because I would see Laura out walking with Buddy and I would just send her so much love and light. And it reminded me that in these moments where you walk past the empty bedroom because your child is off to college, don't be hard on yourself because things hurt. Practice kindness, go for that walk, stand.

Outside I do this thing called grounding and right now it's freezing and it's cold. So now they're growing up. It will be cold, but maybe I'll do it anyway Where you take off your shoes and you just ground yourself into the earth and you look up to the Sun and you just give yourself 60 seconds two minutes of sunshine on your skin that self compassion. That's kindness What does that do for you? It fosters resilience and don't knock it if you haven't tried it because I used to poo poo that stuff all the time I don't do that anymore

Girl Out Of Order (19:18.07)
because it's those two millimeters shift, those little tiny actions of self compassion that you can do for yourself when you're hurting, when you're working through a transition that you don't want, you don't like, it doesn't feel good.

And say these things to yourself. I am doing the best that I can today in a difficult situation and I am proud of myself. And I'm trusting that it's going to start hurting a little bit less. So I don't even know what number I'm on. That's three, four. I don't know. I'm on three. Okay. So let's go to four. Establish new routines.

Why does this matter? What's, well, seems a little self-evident, doesn't it? Why does it matter? Because when things end, you got some white space on your calendar, girl. So fill that up with good stuff. Become that crazy pickleball player, right? Start a routine where you go out for coffee with the girls once a week or you go hang out with your mom. I wish my mom was here to hang out with.

Girl Out Of Order (20:30.296)
Do some things that fill that space that are new. Try. Just give it a shot. I don't know what that is for you. For us, we are gonna start doing a little bit more date nights. We're gonna start filling up our weekends. This weekend, this might sound corny and maybe you'll do a little eye roll and I don't really care because it's working for us. But this weekend, I'm actually excited because we are gonna clean out our damn basement. We have had, we have pulled everything out of the storage unit back in the spring.

it's terrifying the anxiety producing place down there. But we're going to just start doing things around the house that we actually have time and energy to do because we're actually home. And so we're going to start doing those routines where with every weekend we think like, what's one little project we can do to love on this beautiful space that God has given us that we have kind of neglected because we've been so busy with this other thing that no longer is here.

Girl Out Of Order (21:26.924)
Maybe for you it's creating a morning or evening ritual that grounds you, that anchors you, that fills you. Maybe it is that practicing the gratitude. When you start to feel like I have that chest tightening, I would call my husband and say, I'm having heart palpitations again. I can't breathe. I'm going to cry, but I'm afraid to cry because I'm afraid if I start crying, the tears won't stop. Endings are hard, but establishing new routines is going to start.

building, opening new neural pathways that will also open you up for healing. Another thing I've been doing recently with this is a new routine is what's called box breathing. And it is simple as if you're watching this on YouTube, I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it. And if you have to listen, you're just gonna have to listen. You inhale for five seconds, expanding your belly. You hold for five seconds. You exhale for five seconds.

You hold the exhale for five seconds and then you repeat it. It's like a box. And the reason box breathing is so helpful is it resets our internal, I'm not very scientific, our internal clock and it stops the panic because panic can come when you're grieving a loss because I know it has for me.

I've actually woken up with anxiety and done this box breathing, so we're gonna do it together. So if you're out, you're just listening to your earbuds, just inhale for five seconds, ready?

Girl Out Of Order (22:59.874)
Hold for five seconds.

Exhale for five seconds.

Girl Out Of Order (23:09.656)
Hold the exhale for

Girl Out Of Order (23:15.606)
and then you start over and you do that three or four times. I can't promise you that grief will go away, but I can promise you that your soul will become a little bit more settled. All right, so let's just give you one final thing that you can do to help process closing time for whatever it is for you. And if this doesn't apply to you, would you do me a favor? Share it with somebody who's going through a life transition who is struggling.

Reach out to your mom friends whose kids are home for the holidays because what they don't anticipate is when they go back after they're home for that first time, the emptiness that you feel, it's kind of breathtaking, especially after Christmas break because if you live in the Midwest, you're in the heart of winter and it's gonna be a long time before they see them again. So reach out to them or if you are her, I'm sending you love and

I feel very strongly about this last tip. this is tip number five. Please, for your sake, for your health, for your mental health, for your physical health, and for the legacy you're leaving for those who are watching, embrace physical movement of your gorgeous body, your vessel. She needs you to put her first.

When we're going through major life transitions, when we're letting go of something that we loved or something that we were used to, when we're closing the chapter of our life on something major and we're kind of feeling a little discombobulated, I liken it to like when you're like, this is great. I'm to go in the ocean, these waves. I'm going to jump through the waves. And you do that thing where you kind of dived into the waves, but then you miscalculate.

And all of a sudden you're caught in the wave and you're kind of upside down. You don't really know where the sand is and you're like, crap, I don't know which way is up. then, you just feel a little bit scared and dizzy. That's what it's like. But you know that moment when you find the sand and your feet sink in and you anchor and you stand up.

Girl Out Of Order (25:26.476)
And then the next wave comes and hits you, but it doesn't knock you over the way that it did before. That's what we're trying to do. And this last tip, sister, please to honor yourself, your body. She's calling out to you for movement.

is no secret that every scientific study of exercise proves. I'm not even going to quote them because I don't need to because they're everywhere. It helps release stress. It helps boost your mood. It helps create a sense of achievement. Gives you health. was talking to another attorney today and he was sharing with me that he'd had a major health crisis earlier this year.

And he just got a cold and because of that major health crisis, he was very, very sick, sicker than he'd ever been because he was weaker. And I said to him, when I'm sure you've heard, the healthy man has a million wishes, but the sick man or woman only has one.

We need to take care of our bodies. I probably should have started with this tip. So I know I'm saying number five, but this really needs to be number one. When you are hurting, when you are grieving, when you are letting go, when you are experiencing closing time, closing the chapter of something that matters, something that you loved, something that you were used to, something that used to anchor your calendar or your mind or your heart or something you just enjoyed, and it's come to an end, move your...

body. If you can do nothing else, sisters, if all these other things are like blah, blah, blah, and I sound like the Charlie Brown teacher in your mind, please don't shut me out on this one and just move your body. Give yourself a gift of 10 minutes of movement, whether it's a little bit of light stretching or yoga or you're hopping on the treadmill or you're going for a run or you're taking that exercise class or you're just walking around the damn block. Please don't be sedentary.

Girl Out Of Order (27:29.089)
It's Thanksgiving week. And I'm so deeply thankful for you for listening, for tuning in, for sharing this podcast. I just had my second coaching call with Kasia Gettmer. I used to be called Kasia Fitzgerald. She is the incredible host of the Empower Her podcast. And she and I were brainstorming about all of the exciting things coming for the Girl Out of Order podcast in 2025. And

First and foremost, I'm so thankful for you. And I need your help to get this podcast out as far and wide as you can. So please sister, me the favor of not only going on and giving us a written review, but please share this episode on all your social medias. Share it with your loved ones at the Thanksgiving table because I guarantee you if they aren't hurting or if they aren't going through something there, they have and...

or they know somebody who is. I just wanna be a light and I wanna bring you along on my journey. So we have lots of exciting things coming. I just finished up working with my personal branding people, which by the way, I'm gonna be bringing Juliana on my podcast soon to share about personal branding. I just finished my personal branding and today I got my professional photos back and I am so.

I'm to share them and I'm going to be doing a complete rebrand of the Girl Out of Order podcast. Not the core mission, not the essence, but just the overall branding and colors. And I'm going to invite you in to get some feedback on what y'all think. And we're going to build the most incredible podcasting community going into 2025. It starts with you and I'm here because of you. I'm very thankful for you.

And yes, I am closing a chapter on my life, but I also am so excited about what's to come. We're in this together, sister. I love you dearly. Thank you for your support. Thank you for your love and happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate it in the United States. And even if you don't, happy, just be thankful day. Okay? I love you and I will see you next time on the Girl Out of Order podcast.