#93 - Rejection, Resilience, and Radiating Joy with Erin Nunweiler

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” Maya Angelou

Get ready for a deep, uplifting, and fun conversation with the radiant Erin Nunweiler, founder of Spread More Love and Joy! In this episode, Erin shares her powerful journey of self-discovery and resilience, including the challenging decisions that cost her a career of nearly 30 years and strained family relationships. Through it all, Erin's relentless positivity and focus on gratitude became her guiding light.

We explore how moments of adversity shaped Erin’s mission to ignite joy in others and inspire them to live authentically. From life lessons learned as a flight attendant to the importance of stepping into your story, Erin reveals how a mindset of gratitude, bold choices, and radical self-acceptance can shift everything. Plus, hear all about her colorful clothing line that’s designed to spark joy and invite others to be their unapologetic selves. Whether you’re facing a tough season or just need a boost of positivity, this episode will empower you to see your struggles as opportunities to rise and thrive.

Who is this incredible human?

Erin Nunweiler is an energetic, joy-filled entrepreneur, content creator, and world traveler dedicated to spreading love and positivity. With over 28 years as a flight attendant, Erin has explored the globe, embracing adventure and connection. She is the CEO of Spread More Love and Joy, a brand focused on uplifting others through inspiring content, creative workshops, and vibrant, self-expressive products. Passionate about creativity, she loves painting, hosting unforgettable events, and helping people reignite their spark for life. Whether through her daily adventures, Erin’s mission is to help others say yes to life, have more fun, and live boldly.

Where to find Erin:

https://spreadmoreloveandjoy.com/ https://www.facebook.com/SpreadMoreLoveandJoy https://www.facebook.com/erin.nunweiler https://www.instagram.com/spreadmoreloveandjoy/ https://www.instagram.com/erinbabykitty/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinnunweiler/

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Let’s connect! We want to hear from you!
Email me at Christine@girloutoforder.com
http://thechristinegale.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/christine-d-gale-esq-0b899b204/

https://www.facebook.com/christine.salsberrygale

https://www.instagram.com/thechristinegale/

Transcript

Girl Out Of Order (00:00)
Welcome to the show my friend Erin

Erin Nunweiler (00:04)
Hi, how are you? So great to be here Christine

Girl Out Of Order (00:08)
Oh my gosh. I, as I told you right before we started, before we hopped on, I was like, I have been so excited for this interview and I'm actually even grinning right now. So for watching this on YouTube, I've got like, I've got like at least the ache in my cheeks and all I've done is do the intro and then actually start talking to her. Oh my gosh. So Erin, I am so excited for our community to get to know you because your authenticity, your radical, beautiful self-acceptance is such a model. It's such a role model for women.

Erin Nunweiler (00:39)
Thank you so much, Christine. Thank you.

Girl Out Of Order (00:42)
So before we dive into your little bit of your backstory, if I were to ask you, who do you say you are? Who is Erin Nunweiler? How would you introduce yourself to our beautiful Girl Out of Order community?

Erin Nunweiler (00:57)
Well, I am so grateful every day. live life to the fullest every day and I want to inspire others to do the same. you know, we're so great. I'm so grateful every day. And you know, I hear a lot of people complaining. I'm like, you have nothing to complain about. We're so grateful. We have so many things in our health and you know, so many things that when I hear people complaining, I'm just, I don't, I don't understand. So, you know.

Girl Out Of Order (01:25)
I

love that. So you have a very long career as a flight attendant, right?

Erin Nunweiler (01:31)
Yes, almost 30 years.

Girl Out Of Order (01:33)
Almost 30 years. I remember when, well, let me rewind a little bit before I go into the flight attendant, because I just had a thought. Because I want people to understand where you and I got connected first. We actually had the opportunity to meet in Fiji, right? So this is another one of my Fiji friends. And if you listen to the Girl Out of Water podcast, hopefully you have listened to past episodes, I just had Jeanette Lida on who we also met in Fiji.

Erin Nunweiler (01:48)
P.J. Yes, yes.

Girl Out Of Order (02:02)
But I remember in Fiji, I was going to be true confession. I was withering with the, um, the cleanse. I was just like, my energy was flagging. was like listing in my seat and Aaron's over there like, yeah, yes, yes, let's go. And you just have so much and I'm exaggerating to make a point, but your energy.

Erin Nunweiler (02:23)
Yeah.

Girl Out Of Order (02:25)
There's a phrase that I have actually used in one of my own personal manifestos. My energy introduces me before I say a word, and my energy isn't even close to yours. So when you think about how you describe yourself, would you use the word energy as one of your top values?

Erin Nunweiler (02:36)
We did this!

Yes, for sure, yes. Yes.

Girl Out Of Order (02:45)
I love that. I love that. So we got to connect in, in Fiji. And I remember talking to you in the airport air. I'm using air air quotes for airport, like the landing strip, right? And you're just at the end, know, Sean and I are getting ready to go home. It was a wonderful trip, but we were like tired. Do you ever get tired?

Erin Nunweiler (02:53)
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm like a firecracker. give all the energy and then eventually I fizzle out. So, you know, I give it and give it, but then I come to a point where I run out of energy and then I fizzle out like a firecracker. So I'm burst of energy and then I sparkle and then I fizzle out a little, you know?

Girl Out Of Order (03:10)
Yeah

my gosh, that's a great visual. Although I've got to be honest, girl, I haven't seen you fizzle, but what's so cool is when you kind of calm down though in that non-fizzle state, there's such a deep wisdom in you. And so I wanted to ask you, going back to the flight attendant part of your life, what do you love about being a flight attendant and what are the challenges?

Erin Nunweiler (03:30)
Yes

Well, I get to fly. I love flying all over the world. You know, it doesn't feel like a job. I get to go, you know, I work, but then I landed a destination. Then I get to enjoy. Like, I have a lot of years already, so I put the time in, you know, with that smaller, those smaller flights. But now that I'm more senior, I can hold like two day layovers where, you know, it doesn't feel like work. That's why people don't leave. They stay like 50, 50 years at this job, right?

So I just go to work, I have fun, but I also meet so many people from all over the world and see how different people live. And I just find it really fascinating and interesting to meet those people and see how they live life and how grateful they are and the differences of how we live.

Girl Out Of Order (04:39)
Okay, so let's table the challenges part of that question because something that you just said spiked an interest in me. Because when we started and you're talking about who you are, you're just like, just, life is so beautiful and there's so much to be grateful about. Why would we complain? Do you think some of that mindset, that way of showing up in the world has come from all that you've been able to see through your career?

Erin Nunweiler (05:04)
Yeah, probably. know, I think different experiences shape different people where they, they, don't know if empathy and compassion is something you learn, but I just feel, you know, we see so many things happening in the world and you know, you know, I see a lot of poverty in the world. Like when I go to India and they're still, that's why India, I love India. They're still smiling. They have nothing, but they're still wearing beautiful saris. And so,

Girl Out Of Order (05:24)
you

Erin Nunweiler (05:32)
How can people with nothing like smile and enjoy life when we have everything and we still complain? And you know, that's why it's fascinating because, you know, so I think I learned that because, you know, life is so short and we have so much compared to so many people in the world. And sometimes we make it about ourselves, but you know, look at that person. They're able to live in that little wooden hut and they have no toilet.

But then we still complain. I'm like, have nothing to complain about. So, you know.

Girl Out Of Order (06:06)
love

what you said. my gosh, I'm getting excited because I love when things all start, when you're learning stuff and then they all start to collide and come together because I've been listening to Mel Robbins book, her Let Them book, and I know we kind of talked about that. And I was listening to the chapters, two chapters on, I believe it's two chapters on comparison. I listened to audiobooks, so I don't know where the chapter is beginning and end. But one of the things I have struggled with, especially in the last 12 months as I'm expanding my mission in business is the

Erin Nunweiler (06:17)
Yes.

Girl Out Of Order (06:35)
The ridiculous negative compare, I don't know if she called it negative comparison or positive comparison. I'm probably conflating the two, but the comparison where we look at other people's success or perceived success, right? Because social media can be a big fat lie sometimes, but we look at other people's blessings and we feel like, well, there's nothing left for me or good for them. They're so lucky. My life sucks. But then she talks about flipping that.

Erin Nunweiler (06:49)
Mm-hmm, yep, yep.

Girl Out Of Order (07:05)
And doing the opposite kind of comparison, which is what you're talking about. When you look at how many people have so little, right? On paper, materialist goods, whatever, or even safety and security in places like India or Somalia or, know, place, and they're smiling and they're joyful. And so it's like being, you know, gratitude isn't about just

Erin Nunweiler (07:20)
Mm.

Girl Out Of Order (07:32)
know, listing off all the things you're, know, I'm thankful for my bed, my cat, my dog, my friends, but it's really a more, it's a deeper thing. It's a deeper awareness. Don't you think that we really are blessed and what we choose to focus on, that's what makes our, our, our state, how we show up in the world.

Erin Nunweiler (07:52)
Yeah, yeah. And you know, like I go through that too. Like, you know, I look at, you know, Instagram and the phone and I wish I had what she had. But then I, that's just that little voice inside, you know, like then I back it up and I go, wait a minute. I do, I am blessed. I'm here in this life. I'm healthy. I have, I have two arms and two legs. I mean, we know, we know people that have no arms and no legs and they're living life to the fullest every day.

Girl Out Of Order (08:18)
Mm-hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (08:19)
If they can be happy and grateful and hike up mountains and get married and have children, then so can we. So then I back it up like, you know, I may not have as much money as that one or, you know, something, something or whatever that big house. But then I go, wait a minute, I have my health, I've got my husband, I've got my animals, I've got a job. And then I'm very grateful. So I focus on what I do have and not what I don't have because you know what?

Girl Out Of Order (08:47)
Mm-hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (08:47)
You

know, as, you know, hustlers, can always get to that point of attaining a bigger house and doing that, but we have to put in the work. And sometimes people are complaining, but have they actually done the work?

So, you know, know, slow and steady wins the race. You have to keep going. And if I want the big house and I don't want to work or whatever, then I've got to, I've got to put in that work to get there. And I can have it too. I can have what she's having. I just got to put in the work and decide that that's what I want to do. And actually I'm happy for those people. I'm really happy. Like good for them. Like good for them. Like, you know, and then that, that jealousy or, you know,

Girl Out Of Order (09:23)
Yep.

Erin Nunweiler (09:30)
all those feelings don't come in. I'm like, wow, good for them. I wish I had what they had and how are they doing it and how can I attain that as well? And then I try and model after those people. yeah.

Girl Out Of Order (09:41)
Mm-hmm. I love that.

Okay. So, Erin, you said so many golden nuggets there, but I want to end, I want to like dive in right where you ended. It's like, if we focus on envy, you know, looking at what other people have, you and I just came back from the Dominican Republic, it would be very easy to live in envy based on where we stayed, right? Am I right? Like I have never seen material success and beauty that place where we stayed.

Erin Nunweiler (09:47)
Yeah.

Thank

Right, that's right, yes.

Girl Out Of Order (10:10)
in the Dominican Republic. It'd be very easy to be like, that just feels super unattainable. But I'm over there like, Lucy. I mean, that's incredible. And she was widowed at what, 36 years old with two little kids? I mean, we don't know what people's stories actually are. And so what we choose to focus on truly does, like Tony says, determine how we feel, right? And so you are a master, Erin.

Erin Nunweiler (10:26)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Girl Out Of Order (10:39)
at Positive Focus. And I want you to receive that because that's the one thing we're working on, right? Yes. Thank you. Good. You are a master at Positive Focus. And that, I believe, and you can help me explain to our listeners, led you to form this incredible business called Spread More Love Enjoy.

Erin Nunweiler (10:41)
Thank you. Yes, thank you.

Thank you.

Yes, yes, yes!

Girl Out Of Order (11:01)
And so tell

us a little, first of all, if you're on YouTube, I'm standing up. I'm wearing one of her beautiful creations. I have big fat ass and fabulous. She's bright. She's bright. She's fun. She's colorful. I mean, if y'all know how much I love pink, this girl's pink puts mine too. Like mine looks like muted compared to this. Oh, there it is. Yes. Be you. So tell our listeners one, what spread more love and joy is about and two,

Erin Nunweiler (11:06)
Yay! Looks amazing! Yes, looks amazing! Looks...

You.

Girl Out Of Order (11:30)
you in your own words what led you to form this beautiful business.

Erin Nunweiler (11:35)
You know, Spread More Love and Joy is about igniting that spark within. We all have that fun spark within us. And for some reason, I don't know, you know, when we get older, if we suppress it or whatever, but people do have, wanna have fun. you know, I think when we get older, we worry about what people think like, I'm a weirdo. I like squish mellows or whatever.

people think you have to be some way, but really actually they're, want to be authentic and they want to bring it out, but they're too scared. by, by me having a brand, you know, it's okay to be who you are because like, you know, I never had kids. I, I like, I also went through that as well. I didn't follow along as to what I should be doing. And then I thought, but why do we have to, should we be doing anything? Why can't we just be ourselves?

And so I inspire and try to ignite that spark within others to keep living with joy and fun and not that you have to be serious and conform and life, you know like that all the time. So yeah.

Girl Out Of Order (12:45)
Yeah,

I love that. And I'll remember. So I recall back in March of 2024 at the, then it was called Own Your Worth Conference that Lauren Lohave held in Vegas. And by the way, if you have any interest whatsoever in attending a virtual version of this year's, it's called Own It on March, what is it, six, seventh and, six and seventh? Seven, eight, nine. Thank you. Shame on me.

Erin Nunweiler (13:10)
Yes. 789. Yeah.

Girl Out Of Order (13:15)
Okay. Let me know. Hit me up in my DMs because I have an amazing offer for you, but be that as it may, I remember in the VIP bags, seeing all your spread more love and joy and thinking, I don't really understand what that means. And then as I've gotten to know you through our true legacy collective, our TLC mastermind this year, it's been so evident to me the way that you move through life is so authentic and, and unique.

Erin Nunweiler (13:39)
Mm-mm.

Girl Out Of Order (13:45)
And so when people meet, yes, well, you're absolutely welcome. And, and at first I wasn't sure what to make of you. Through confession, like, because I mean, and that's okay. What I want our listeners to hear is like, when you meet somebody who's really different than you, or who, who has character qualities or, or an energy that you may not like understand, my invitation to you is get curious.

Erin Nunweiler (13:46)
Thank you.

haha. Yeah, yeah, I know.

Right, right.

Girl Out Of Order (14:16)
Get curious, get to know them, ask questions because if I had just been like, I don't resonate with her energy or I don't understand her energy, I would have missed this incredible gift that is you.

Erin Nunweiler (14:28)
Yes, thank you, Christine.

Girl Out Of Order (14:30)
And so

I want to pivot now because when people, if our listeners are listening, like, my gosh, this woman is relentlessly positive. Like her life just must be easy peasy. And I can't relate to that because I've got all these struggles. So I don't, you know, like good for her, not for me. And what I want you to share, if you will, is some of your really intense

struggles and challenges that you've had since, I think around 2020 that have really brought you to your knees in some respects, but in more respects have helped you really rise more fully into who you are. So I'll let you tell this story, but I think it's important that our listeners understand that the woman sitting here today is a product of a lot of intentional work, focus and clarity.

Erin Nunweiler (15:13)
Yes.

Yes. Yes. Okay. So I've had many, many things happen in my life and not to be a victim or whatever, you know, I got divorced in 2011. I thought that was very hard. I saved my house. I ended up renting out rooms in order to keep my house. And then, you know, mandatory pause hit and I was flying around the world. I wasn't laid off or anything. And

So they laid off most of the airline staff, but I was still flying around the world, like London, India, with like full planes. And you know, at that time it was, don't, you're in the US and I'm in Canada, so it was a little different. So, you know, the mandatory pause, it would stop and start and like we thought it was getting better and then they'd lock us down again and then it would go again.

After a while, a lot of it didn't make sense because it was getting better. And then our government said, he mandated that everybody who wanted to leave the country or go on a plane, train, bus or whatever, they had to have the COVID vaccine. And so from me traveling all around the world, I just was wondering, curious as to why he was bringing this in at that point when it felt like things had gotten better.

Girl Out Of Order (16:34)
Mm-hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (16:45)
And we had passed that point. So I just, had a decision whereby I could go and get it, but then I was like, well, why would I have to go and get it? I've been working all along. I've been flying, know, flying to England and London, like I said, and other countries were doing things differently than what we were doing. you know, for me, no, like everyone should be able to have a choice, you know, but then I had to make that choice. Anyway, I said no.

Girl Out Of Order (16:46)
Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (17:15)
So I lost my job for nine months. And you know, it wasn't that I could have just gone and got it, but then I thought, but it didn't feel right to me internally. Like I'm the one that has to live with myself. you know, and I was thinking about this question a lot, like you asking me this. And I think, you know, the most important relationship that I have is the relationship I have with myself. Because you know, if you are,

Girl Out Of Order (17:15)
Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

Erin Nunweiler (17:42)
If you don't listen to that internal voice inside where, you know, that higher power, then will you have nothing really because then you're not congruent with yourself. You're not living authentic. And then you've got to live with those decisions. anyway, to make a long story short, I lost my job for nine months. And so at that point, people that were locked in their homes here in Canada that hadn't gone anywhere, you know, they thought I was crazy. And at that point,

Girl Out Of Order (17:49)
Hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (18:12)
My family didn't want anything to do with me and my husband and you know and said we were crazy and all of this and you know all these things have come out now and you know we don't need to go into that but the thing is I thought like divorce was hard and like standing up for what like for bodily autonomy was the hardest thing that I ever had to do and but I was coming from my own perspective.

of seeing the world and seeing my job and none of it made sense to me, especially in an aircraft, they cram everyone in and so, you know, why are you cramming 300 people in a plane and then going to where the Omnicron, the most deadliest virus is? So just a few things didn't add up and you know, that's my story, but.

Girl Out Of Order (18:57)
Can you pause for just one quick second? think there's

a couple of really, really important points there. And I really want to highlight them because listeners, this is not a COVID versus not COVID. This is not a COVID conversation. This is an identity conversation. This is an autonomy conversation. This is a listening to your spirit, your body, your mind, and stepping into you, or not stepping into, but staying.

Erin Nunweiler (19:12)
No, no.

Girl Out Of Order (19:27)
in your integrity. And what I think is important for our listeners to hear is you made a decision that was aligned with who you know you are and what you believed and you lost so much. You suffered greatly financially, employment wise, but the place I really want to dive into, if that's all right, is the rejection by your loved ones. And

Erin Nunweiler (19:36)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah

Girl Out Of Order (19:57)
What? It seems like a dumb question, but like, tell me how you reacted to that situation.

Erin Nunweiler (20:09)
Well, I think in that time, I felt like I was living in a movie. Like, is this really happening? Like, so many things were happening. And then from one week to the next, from, you know, bringing my family food and made meals because, you know, my other family member, she works in the airline as well and she was laid off. And so I was bringing her family meals and stuff. then from one week to the next, when the mandates were put in place, they didn't, we just said, no, we...

we didn't do that and then we couldn't come. So then we were cut off and then everyone unfriended everyone on Facebook. it just in those moments I remember it was just so heated where like you're crazy if you don't do this. And so yeah, the rejection is hard. I still haven't spoken to my sister. It's been three and a half years. Luckily I've been able to rekindle with my dad after three and a half years.

Girl Out Of Order (21:06)
Hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (21:06)
But I mean,

the rejection, yeah, I wanted to shoot myself in the backyard. yeah, it was the horriblest time of my whole life. you know, and I could have chosen the other answer and just gone and done it, but then I wouldn't have been congruent with myself. And so, like, I guess I chose this and I had to lose my job and I worked at Amazon. And all I did was I was working at Amazon at nights because that was the only job I could get.

Girl Out Of Order (21:24)
Hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (21:35)
You know, they didn't require, you know, they weren't mandated. So I worked at night and all I did was cry. But at Amazon, nobody knew that I'd come from an airline, like a great life with 30 years of seniority. And so, but they didn't know anything about me. So they loved me. That's where I got my love and connection from. They knew nothing about me. And so doing Tony Robbins and what our basic needs are.

Girl Out Of Order (21:49)
Hmm.

oooo

Hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (22:03)
The reason why I was able to continue is because they loved me and treated me like a queen whereby a lot of those people are immigrants or from India and they weren't even paying attention to all this stuff like everyone else was. like, you know, because in their countries, you know, in other countries you had to eat. So it wasn't, the main focus wasn't on you need to get this thing or else. so yeah.

Girl Out Of Order (22:08)
Mmm.

Right.

Right. Right. So, okay. You said something

really important and I know we've talked about this on the podcast where Tony Robbins, you're a senior leader with Tony Robbins, which is amazing. I'm so thankful the organization has leaders like you. But when you alluded to the six human needs, which is certainty, uncertainty or variety, significance, love and connection, growth and contribution. And Erin, what you said there was so important because you highlighted

Erin Nunweiler (22:38)
Yes, yes, yes.

Girl Out Of Order (22:58)
The fact that in this time where you were so distraught and had been rejected by the people whose love and connection you craved the most, you could have just huddled in a puddle and felt sorry for yourself, but you took action, got a job to provide for yourself, but it wasn't just marking time. You then went out and were the kind of woman that found love and connection in the most unlikely place.

Amazon for heaven's sakes. And so it's so powerful to me to hear you say, and I want our listeners to hear, like in those moments where you feel rejected, in those moments where you standing for your principles and in your integrity is the reason why certain people or jobs or situations exit your life, you still have a choice.

Erin Nunweiler (23:56)
Yeah.

Girl Out Of Order (23:56)
you still

get to decide how you're going to show up, right?

Erin Nunweiler (24:00)
Yeah, yeah.

Girl Out Of Order (24:01)
And do you think that it was during this time that your spread more love and joy mission started to come about?

Erin Nunweiler (24:10)
Yeah, because I had seen other people, you know, in Canada and they didn't have the tool, they weren't so blessed to have as many tools that I had from doing all the events at Tony Robbins. So I felt that I had a lot of tools in my toolbox and other people were going through this as well, coming through to this dilemma, you know, losing their houses, selling their houses just to stay in their integrity with their bodily autonomy. so...

I felt, you know, with all the Tony teachings, like step up, you know, now I am the voice, I will lead, not follow and like, you know, step up. And so I have that ingrained in me whereby I am a leader, I need to step up and help these people because I have a big toolbox. And so that's when I needed to, even though with all the pain that I'm in, it just, yeah. And so like, I just saw a lot of other people suffering as well.

And you know, it was a challenging time for all of us, whether, you know, for all of us. you know, and so with all the tools in my toolbox from Tony Robbins, and now I am the voice, I will lead, not follow, step up. I really felt that because I had all those tools, I had to help others in the community, you know, that were facing losing their jobs, that did lose their jobs. So I really felt that I had to.

I don't know that I was called for this or what. I don't know. I mean, I didn't want this story. I just wanted to be left alone. Like, let me do me. Like, why do I have to do this? Like, so, so I just really stepped up and, and, helped other people. And then I really saw a lot of suffering. mean, I saw a lot of suffering before.

Girl Out Of Order (25:41)
Hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (25:50)
But like then I saw a lot of suffering in my own backyard. And then I had to tell people, know, try to get them out of the black hole because, you know, at that time people were so depressed and sad and couldn't believe it. you know, for some people life just didn't carry on. It got a lot worse for them. And so I felt I...

Girl Out Of Order (26:08)
Mm-hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (26:12)
I really need to spread love and joy to them and have them focus on the good, even though a lot of stuff was falling behind, like caving down behind them, right? So, yeah.

Girl Out Of Order (26:24)
Yeah. And

it's interesting because, and again, this isn't a COVID conversation. Well, what it is, it's a conversation about who you choose to be in the face of loss and injustice. And we had situations in our family where this COVID situation and who chose to get vaccinated, who didn't split our holidays. Like for years, we didn't have holidays with certain family members. And now it's

Erin Nunweiler (26:28)
No, no.

That's right.

Girl Out Of Order (26:52)
all the rear view mirror. Thank God. But what I love about your story, Erin, and this is, hear me, is that even after you had come out of this, even after you had launched Spread More Love and Joy, even after you'd gone to Lauren's Own Your Worth, as I sat next to you in Utah at one of our retreats called The True Voice, you leaned over and you whispered to me, I don't have a story. Do you remember that?

Erin Nunweiler (27:15)
Yeah?

Uh-huh. No, I don't.

Girl Out Of Order (27:23)
yes.

And I said, everybody has a story of a story. And you're like, no, no, no, I don't have a story. I don't have a story. And I remember thinking to myself, ooh, that got me excited because I was mentoring at that time. So then I was like, you say you don't have a story, which leads to me to believe you have an even deeper story than you know.

Erin Nunweiler (27:44)
Right, that's right. Yeah.

Girl Out Of Order (27:46)
And so you

found your voice at True Voice.

Erin Nunweiler (27:49)
Yeah, and you know, I'm really glad that you tell the listeners, know, this isn't a COVID story. And, you know, some people are still at the point where they're not even open to listen to other people's story. They just said, she, you know, killed my grandmother as an anti-vaxxer or something like this, which I'm totally not. But some people are not even willing to listen to the story. But anyway, at that point, at True Voice, like I was...

I felt like I wasn't myself obviously because I wasn't living my truth because meeting people, couldn't just fit in because I was the one, like with all that happening here and the discrimination and what happened with my job and my family, I didn't want to show my story of who I was because I joined this amazing TLC group with you and whatever. And I'm like, if they find out about me, I'm like, my God, you know, I didn't want.

to be hated even more after the big pile of hate that I'd already had. And so when I said I didn't have a story, probably I didn't want to confront that, which is going to that own your voice was the biggest thing for me to heal with you ladies and yourself, is support and love and nobody there judging. And it's a safe space with Lauren because...

Girl Out Of Order (28:55)
Hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (29:09)
even though that story many people might not agree or whatever, it's not about agreeing, it's about releasing our story to heal from it so we can carry on. But I knew I was in a safe space with my TLC sisters and thank you so much and it brought me out to being me again because you know what? You know my story now. If you don't agree, then that's fine. I've released it for myself anyway. So now I don't have to keep in the story like I'm...

Girl Out Of Order (29:16)
Bye bye.

and

Erin Nunweiler (29:38)
I'm a horrible person because I didn't do this. You know what I mean?

Girl Out Of Order (29:43)
I do. And it's so interesting that you would say that because one of the things that I say, and it's not my quote, I feel like it's Siri Lindley's quote, or maybe it's Tony's, I'm not sure. But it's like when you do change your story, you literally change your life. And it's not about when I say change your story, I don't mean like go back and rewrite what happened in the past, but we get to reframe what it means. And it felt to me when I watched you

pull that story out from storage, deep, deep storage. You didn't want to share the story because you were living in this spread more love and joy and you were like positivity and wearing pink and bright and all that fun. But if we aren't willing to own all of our story and decide what it means, then I think we live a stunted life. And what I saw happen with you

Erin Nunweiler (30:27)
Right.

Yes.

Girl Out Of Order (30:38)
and have been so blessed to bear witness to since that July True Voice event is it's like unearthing the story that we're too afraid to tell and releasing it into a safe place. It's like unleashes something else in us that was blocked because we were holding that so close. Do you agree with that?

Erin Nunweiler (30:49)
Right?

Yes.

Yes, I do. Yes.

Girl Out Of Order (31:05)
Was that your experience at True Voice? Once you release that, something changes, shifted in you?

Erin Nunweiler (31:11)
Yeah, and for sure. you know, there came a point whereby, you know, I tried to reach out to my family, my dad, you know, it was still going on where, you and so there came a point to me where I was so in pain that I just came, said I have to save myself. Like I was drowning in the pain and I knew, I know I'm a good person.

And just because I choose otherwise, other people, it's not just me choosing, you know, other, you know. And so I just said, there comes a point where I have to release this because it's not serving me. It's not serving me. I've done my best. You know, I tried to reach out to my father and it wasn't successful. And then it came a point, I think at like two and a half years whereby I can't keep living with this pain anymore. Cause it's not who I am. I'm the joyful Erin, like.

Girl Out Of Order (31:47)
Hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (32:04)
I'm joyful and fun and I don't want, I need those opinions of what people think of me to be released. Like if you don't like me or whatever, then that's okay. And that's why I stand for those people that, know.

just because they, know, same with politically right now. If you like this or that, you're this or that. Well, no, you're not because you haven't had a conversation with that person and people thinking that they know something about people when they haven't asked them and just assuming this is where our society is going wrong. And that's why we're always arguing or being divided, which we don't have to be just like people who they are and listen to their story. And nobody's goes out there to deliberately try to

Girl Out Of Order (32:28)
Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (32:49)
Hurt Pete, you know what I'm saying?

Girl Out Of Order (32:51)
I do. a couple things, oh gosh, you keep dropping these wisdom bombs. I'm like, oh, which one do I pick? Which one do I go? Where do I go? Okay. But what I love is, and again, just like this is not a COVID conversation, it's not a political conversation. What it is, is it's an identity and a love conversation. Because when you, in Girl Out of Order, let me just back up. In Girl Out of Order, we have three pillars. I don't know if you know this, Erin, but it's cultivating bravery to...

Erin Nunweiler (32:57)
Ayy no!

Girl Out Of Order (33:19)
unearth your identity and step into your identity. It's inspiring boldness to live out that identity. And you do this so well with boldness, but not brashness, not just aggressiveness, but confidence. And then the last one is building bridges among all women, no matter what. I don't even need to fill in the blank. And so one of the things I've watched you do so, so well is you step into your identity.

Erin Nunweiler (33:31)
No.

Girl Out Of Order (33:48)
every single day. And you show up so congruent to who you are and that person exudes love. And so whether somebody votes like you, whether somebody has a COVID perspective like you, whether somebody likes the colors you like, whether they like your energy or not, very, I don't know anybody who comes away from an interaction with Aaron Nunweiler without feeling loved or elevated.

Erin Nunweiler (33:58)
Thank

Yeah, thank you so much for those kind thank you and you know because I I have empathy to how others feel like I see people being mean to others, you know And and i'm like, a minute. You don't know what their story is So why are you talking? Why are you talking smack about them? Like maybe we don't know what she's gone through or them and you know what? They're just a human like anyone else regardless of what they vote or what they think or whatever, right because

Girl Out Of Order (34:24)
Mm-hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (34:44)
Who would want to feel like that? And I always put myself in someone else's shoes. Like, you know, that's not very nice to treat somebody like that. And so I, you know, there's that quote by Mary Angelo, like, they'll never remember what you say, but they'll always remember how you made them feel. And so, you know, if somebody's gonna treat me whatever I'm gonna remember, you didn't make me feel so nice. And when I'm with somebody, I don't wanna be that. I don't wanna leave. I wanna be the joyful person in the world.

Girl Out Of Order (35:01)
Right.

Right.

Erin Nunweiler (35:14)
Like, you know, caring for somebody because, know.

Girl Out Of Order (35:19)
I do, and I have a

real practical question in that regard. Because what I want our listeners to hear is like, this is not a woman who's had it easy. She's had a really tough go of things and she's had a lot of loss and yet she's committed to relentless positivity and spreading more love and joy. So what I want you to tell us, because we need practical tips, like this isn't just like, that's all nice for Erin. Again, not for me.

When you get up, are there certain rituals or routines or tools that you use on a day-to-day basis to maintain your positivity? How do you maintain this beautiful mindset in spite of circumstances that maybe would take some of rest of us down?

Erin Nunweiler (36:11)
And I just want to back up there like so you say that I have gone through a lot like for me No, I haven't I don't feel I've gone sure. It was very hard being rejected and all that but in the grand scheme of things I want to let the listeners, you know know like like there's way worse things that could have happened to me than be rejected by you know, and By my family or whatever. I know that that is a big thing for me. But also I want to say like a lot

of people have way worse things happen to them. for me, yes, it happened. I got rejected, but you know, carry on. It's just life's lessons. I chose this. I had to, I made the choice. So I had to live and go through the universe's teachings, you know, to get to where I am today. So that's what I, want to say. Like, I don't feel like, even though when, what I went through is nothing compared to some. So I want to just say that. Yeah. Yeah.

Girl Out Of Order (37:07)
Okay, but

to that, not but, and while that is true, there's a tool even in what you said, because that tool, so I don't want women to feel like they have to dismiss their struggles, because I don't think that's at all what you're saying. Like those are painful things that you went through. And you have, as a tool, made a decision to, you've decided what it means. And what it means

Erin Nunweiler (37:27)
Yes.

Girl Out Of Order (37:37)
is there's things I can learn here. There's nuggets I can take here. I know I've seen that people are worked. So I'm choosing to not awfulize, my mom used to use that term, not awfulize it, not make it bigger than it needs to be. So you, as one of your tools, Erin, and I've watched you do this, you decide what certain things mean because you are a grown ass woman and you have autonomy. So you get to control what goes on between your ears.

Erin Nunweiler (37:48)
Yeah.

Right.

Yeah

Girl Out Of Order (38:06)
what I tell my listeners all the time. The one place nobody can control you is what goes on in between your ears. So one of your tools, I believe, and you can tell me if I'm right or wrong here, is you choose what something means.

Erin Nunweiler (38:06)
Yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah, yeah.

Girl Out Of Order (38:26)
So let's say hypothetically you're going through a difficult situation, whether it's a financial struggle or maybe a breakdown in a friendship. I don't know. You can come up with something in your mind and you wake up in the morning and as we, we're all human, right? Sometimes we wake up in the morning and we wake up and we start to smile and then kind of that dread creeps in like, shit, I forgot about that thing that happened yesterday. it all comes back to us.

Is there something you can tell our listeners that you do, shifts that you make, routines or rituals that you employ that help change your, shift your mindset, or is that not even a struggle for you?

Erin Nunweiler (39:05)
you know, like, you know, things come up, but you know, what's the worst case scenario? Like, am I going to die? Am I going to like, you know, so, you know, when I lost my job, okay, what's the worst case scenario? I'm healthy. have my, my, you know, I'm, I'm, I have my integrity to myself. So I mean, yeah, it's crappy to lose income and work at Amazon, but also there's blessings in my decision, in my, in your choice that you make every day. So what are those?

What are those lessons teaching you? you know, what's, I think you have to wake up and be, be grateful for the good every day and be, it comes from gratitude and it's like, I'm a nucleus, like a nucleus and it works out. So, you know, like I'm grateful I woke up today, you know, like Pitbull says above ground, you know.

Girl Out Of Order (39:54)
Mm-hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (39:54)
I am grateful

for my husband, I'm grateful for my two cats and my dog, and it expands from there, whereby the rest of it doesn't matter. So if I lose my job or whatever, I've got the nucleus of what is really important because losing your job, you can find another or things that happen. It's unfortunate that things happen that are bad, but I...

Girl Out Of Order (40:01)
Yes.

Erin Nunweiler (40:21)
I choose to see the lesson in it. like, you know, you know, if something happened, you know, there's something better. Like, you know, when I got divorced, well, but in the moment, you know, as Tony says, you know, life is always happening for you. And in the moment, you're like mad, like, no, it's not happening. It's happening to me. It's not happening for me. But then when you realize when you're out of it, when you go through that pain and look at the reasons of what

Girl Out Of Order (40:24)
Hmm, there it is.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (40:50)
what this scenario, this situation is trying to help you, then you realize like, you know, I got divorced and then I met my new husband and you know, he's even better than the last one. But in that moment when I thought, I'm, you know, I'm no good, I got rejected and you know, but then I was in the pain of it, but then...

Girl Out Of Order (41:01)
Mm-hmm.

Erin Nunweiler (41:12)
from just waking up from the pain and go, wait a minute, I need to get better and learn the lessons of what's happening and take accountability. Like it wasn't just him that ended the marriage. It was also me, like how can I become better so that this doesn't happen again? And when I'm in a relationship, how can I be better to the person so that it doesn't go down that track? so, know, things that happened to us, maybe it's the universe's way of aligning us.

Girl Out Of Order (41:34)
Yeah.

Erin Nunweiler (41:41)
on the path of where we're supposed to go. Because you know what? Just talking about getting rejected by my family or losing my job, I probably never would have met you because I wouldn't have, you know, you know what I'm saying? So that's why.

Girl Out Of Order (41:51)
Aw. Yeah.

Erin Nunweiler (41:55)
all of these things align in order to take us where we're supposed to be. all the friends that I lost, all of them, like that's okay because I wish them the best. I don't mean, you know, they made a decision too and whether they decided not to talk to me, like that's okay. They're allowed to do that. And I wish them the best, but also it opened up.

Girl Out Of Order (42:14)
Yeah.

Erin Nunweiler (42:18)
whatever cleared away for me fell away. Maybe it wasn't a relationship anyway, it was just fluffy, I don't know. But I wish them all the best.

Girl Out Of Order (42:26)
Okay,

so the theme, Erin, and this is the theme that is so extraordinary in you, is you literally choose to spread more love and joy first to yourself and then to the world. It comes down to choices. What do we choose to focus on? How do we choose to describe our circumstances? And how do we choose to show up in the world? And it seems to me that, and I...

Erin Nunweiler (42:43)
Yeah.

Girl Out Of Order (42:56)
I used to poo poo the whole like, just have an attitude of gratitude. I'm like, but it's true. Poo pooing the power of gratitude and appreciation for what is, is the fuel to creating a life that we truly love, a life of impact and contribution and joy and love, which is what you do every freaking day. And it's not, you're not perfect at it.

Erin Nunweiler (43:04)
Yeah

Girl Out Of Order (43:23)
But when you have a mission that is focused the way that it is in your life, you live a life, in my opinion, that is beautifully envious. Like I look at you as a role model for positivity because I have a natural EO tendency that I am continually working on and I can make my own choices to spread more love and joy. I can make my choice what to focus on. And that's what I want our listeners to hear and see in your example.

Erin Nunweiler (43:23)
No

Yeah, because you know, we could complain, you know, till the cows come home or whatever, but do you like it drains so much energy when you don't you want to use that energy to have fun? You know, do like, and you know, I like to like every day is a gift. So I want to fill each day to the fullest because I'm here. And when I die, like, you know, life goes by so fast and I'm in, you know, getting older and you know, you know, I want to make sure that I do everything that I want to do and

you know, live each day to the fullest because some people don't have that opportunity, you know, they don't and they would do anything to have your life. And those are the people that I have, I live for. And that's why it's sad when I hear people complaining, like, you know, really like, okay, complain for one minute, but saw like zip it, like that's enough now you've got legs. love your coat. I love your purse. You're doing amazing. So get on with it already. Like, why are you stuck in that, that, but

Girl Out Of Order (44:27)
Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah. Right.

Erin Nunweiler (44:50)
Also as well, know, it becomes a habit. So I think for me, like doing it, I can snap out of it easier. Like when I go, God, that Lucy's house, I want that. But also, like you said, we don't know what's going on behind closed doors. She lost her husband, the love of her life. And so even though things, you know, look so happy and perfect for everybody, everyone has things they're going through and lessons they're learning and going through.

Girl Out Of Order (45:00)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Erin Nunweiler (45:20)
things internally themselves, so.

Girl Out Of Order (45:20)
Right.

Absolutely. And again, every time you talk, just, comes up for me. It's what we choose to focus on. What we choose to focus on is what we feel. And you're such a beautiful example of that. So I have one final question for you. And I asked it of all my guests and I totally shamelessly ripped it off from Jen Hatmaker, one of my favorite podcasters. And it's a question that Barbara Brown Taylor, the poet asks.

Erin Nunweiler (45:31)
Uh-huh.

Yes, yes, yes.

Girl Out Of Order (45:49)
and you can answer it any way you want. You can answer it frivolous, you can answer it serious, but just don't think, just answer. So as you sit here today, what is saving your life right now?

Erin Nunweiler (45:55)
Okay.

What is saving my life right now?

Girl Out Of Order (46:05)
Yeah.

Erin Nunweiler (46:08)
Fun, fun, yay, fun. Yeah, what fun can I have today? Like I'm going to Dubai tonight for my job. What fun can I do? What can I do there? How can I, know, what am I gonna get up to? And fun, and I'm gonna do a cold plunge challenge myself this morning. I've got all these bathing suits. I'm gonna wear, you know, color and just go and make everything fun. And you know, put on music, have fun, you know.

Girl Out Of Order (46:09)
There it is! There it is and there she is!

my gosh.

I love that. Well, okay, family, I definitely didn't lie. This is an incredible woman. She's a spirit you need to know. Erin, thank you for sharing your light. Absolutely. Thank you for sharing your joy. Thank you for sharing your mission and being an example of what a beautiful focus really can create for a life. I love you dearly.

Erin Nunweiler (46:38)
Buh.

Thank you so much, Christine. Wow, thank you so much.

Yeah, I love you too, Christine. Thank you so much.