#94 - When Life Hits Hard - How to Find Strength in the Storm

"When Life Feels Unfair, Remember Who You Are."

This special Thursday episode is straight from the heart, because I know someone out there—maybe even you—needs to hear this. Life threw a series of unexpected and painful challenges my way this week, and I found myself grappling with anger, fear, and injustice, especially when it came to protecting my child. But here’s the truth: No matter what happens, we always have a choice in how we respond.

In today’s episode, I’m sharing a deeply personal story about what happened to my daughter, how I handled it (and how I wanted to handle it), and the mindset shifts that kept me from spiraling. If you’ve ever faced unfair treatment, betrayal, or situations that rocked you to your core, this episode will remind you of the power you have within you to rise above, find the gifts, and stand strong in who you are.

Episode Breakdown:

🔹 [2:22] – When life feels like it’s happening to you instead of for you
🔹 [5:35] – My daughter’s car was vandalized—here’s how I chose to respond
🔹 [7:55] – The moment my mama instincts kicked into high gear
🔹 [12:07] – Facing injustice: My husband's unexpected job loss
🔹 [15:36] – Then life threw another curveball… injury, fear, and resilience
🔹 [19:50] – “You're my rock”: The words that changed everything
🔹 [22:10] – How to shift your focus, control your reactions, and find the gifts
🔹 [24:31] – Three powerful steps to navigate any challenge

Let's Connect!

https://www.thechristinegale.com/

https://www.thechristinegale.com/

https://www.facebook.com/christine.salsberrygale/

Transcript

Christine Gale (00:02.402)
Welcome to a special edition of the Girl Out of Order podcast. I don't typically drop podcasts on Thursdays, but for the next couple weeks, I am excited to say that I am going to be dropping a Thursday podcast and we are going, we are closing in on 100 episodes. Can you freaking believe that? Right before I attend and speak at

Lauren LaHav's Own It Conference on March 7th, 8th, and 9th, we are going to have launched our 100th episode. I'm so excited, I'm so proud, and I'm excited for this community that is growing every day. But today, I am dropping this episode because it's been one of those weeks where I have to cling very hard.

to the truth that life is happening for me and for my child. And so the topic I wanna discuss, it's gonna be a brief episode today, but I really feel on my heart that there is somebody out there, probably a lot of somebodies, who needs to hear this and who needs the reminder that when you face injustice,

or attacks.

You have to remember who you are.

Christine Gale (01:37.944)
So this week, I had a great week all laid out in front of me. My husband was in Florida having a great time, so I was excited for him. My mastermind was, the second session was coming and it was on, one of my favorite, favorite, favorite sessions on beliefs and helping rewire our beliefs. My practice is growing again. I just was feeling very positive.

And then Monday happened and it's, wonder if you can relate to this, especially if you're a mom, but even if you're not a mom, if you're just a fierce friend or a fierce daughter or a protective lover, when you get attacked or when you experience injustice, you're like,

I got this because I'm a badass. I can handle this. I can fix this. Anybody relate? I can fix this. I can manage this. I can make this better.

And in my history, in my family, especially in my marriage, there have been things that my husband has done that I have gladly put myself in front of all of the bullets to protect my children from because I can take it, right? Because I am strong, I am fierce, I am a protector. I will take all the bullets, just keep them safe.

And this was one of those weeks, it's not even been a week yet. This, there was a 24 hour period where it doesn't matter how fierce I am or how protective I am because the injustice and the attack was on my child. And it has created such profound insecurity.

Christine Gale (03:47.554)
that it has rocked me to my core.

So let me tell you what happened, and then I'm going to tell you, I'm going to give you some tools and some strategies, some mindsets for how you can navigate when you're facing an attack or an injustice.

So my daughter sent me a picture at lunch saying, well, this is how my day is unraveling. I'm so pissed. And it was the, her driver's side mirror had been knocked off her car and it was on the ground. And my first thought was, well, some idiot hit her car and drove away, which sadly happens. A lot of people don't take responsibility when they damage another person's car. They just,

take off. And that injustice alone was enough to really burn me up because this has been one of those months where we have had more car expenses than I care to talk about. In fact, I'm literally driving a loaner on Monday because my other daughter's car decided just to not start in a parking lot. So I'm already feeling a little bit beaten down, but I'm like, we'll handle it. It's fine. My husband usually handles the car things because I don't really like it.

But I was on because he was out of town, but I'm like, I'm resourceful. I will handle it. I gotta be strong for my daughter. She's frustrated. I don't like the fact that she's driving an unsafe car. You know, when, when something happens in your life and it's, it's a problem or a situation, if you're in Jamaica, they tell me that they told me when I was there and I love this, you say in Jamaica, we don't have any problems, only situations. And it has really helped me in my mindset when it comes to

Christine Gale (05:35.374)
quote unquote, bad things happening. So I'm sitting here going, this is a situation and we will navigate through it. We will get it in to get it fixed. It's all going to be fine. And I'm like, aha, my resourcefulness. I'm like, it's 2025. There are cameras everywhere. And so my daughter, my last daughter, Sophie is so amazing. She is so independent and she just marched right into this

the school juvenile officer, Officer Buff, what a great name for a high school officer. And she has a great relationship with him. And there's so many blessings, so many gifts that have come out of this. And the first one that I found, and this is my first tip for you when you're facing a situation where you've experienced injustice or attack, be on the lookout for the gifts. That's my first tip for you.

Because your first instinct is very likely to be angry, to be sad, to feel traumatized. And those things are natural. But what isn't necessarily natural is looking for the gifts. But it's one of the most beautiful tools to help you navigate and make decisions from a resourceful state. And so my daughter goes right into the school resource. I don't if he's called a resource officer, whatever. He's a police officer.

And she sits down with him, tells him what happened. She's really upset. She's crying. She loves her car, calls her car, Tina loves her car. I didn't know at the time that she had a really good idea what had happened. She didn't tell me that. It's not a gift, but that's okay. We've addressed it. And she asked him to look at the film. And so I'm going about my day. I'm doing my thing, whatever. And then I get a call from the school. And it turns out that...

an ex-friend of hers had pulled up, got out of his car, and took his fist and punched her mirror off of her car.

Christine Gale (07:47.436)
And when he told me that...

It's making me emotional.

Christine Gale (07:55.682)
My mama instincts kicked in and I thought, what if she'd been in the car? Or what if that unbridled rage had been taken out on her?

Christine Gale (08:12.268)
And yes, I was angry because it caused damage and it's not a safe car and all that. But it rocked me. It rocked me to my core. Because it's one of those moments where you know that there are limits to how you can protect your child. And I had a choice to make in that moment. I could allow the trauma that I was feeling in my body caused me to make a reaction.

or I could pause and breathe.

and remind myself of what is true. And what is true is he fucked with the wrong family.

Sorry, that's my little snarky thing. But what is true is that I am resourceful, that I am smart, and that I see the gifts because Officer Ruff loves my daughter. He thinks she's fabulous, and he's going to do what he can to keep her safe. But in that moment, in my very human reaction, I felt so sad.

And I felt a little afraid. Because it's 2025 at a school and I asked my daughter, she said every single kid knows there's cameras everywhere. And so in my mind, I'm thinking how out of control do you have to be? How much rage do you have to have to get out of your car where your license plate is? Right there and full view of the cameras.

Christine Gale (09:59.31)
and with a punch with your hand, not a bat, not an instrument, but your hand, how angry, how out of control do you have to be to do something that stupid? Now here's the deal. I don't know about you, but I was a dumb, dumb teenager. In fact, if my friend is listening, she'll remember when we were seniors, we and our brilliance decided to, I'm so embarrassed to admit this, but.

we decided it would be amazing decision to deface the school, to spray paint the school, spray paint the trees. just stupid. Now these, were no cameras back then, but my friend, as she was coming out of the school, accidentally, I used air quotes, I have no idea why, because it was a complete accident, accidentally locked her birth inside the doors. And so we got busted. Look, we were honors students and athletes and student body president.

Kids do stupid, stupid things. I get that. But this is my baby. This is my child.

And so I did breathe and I felt so grateful for the fact that I am a family law attorney and I know the law really freaking well. I'm so thankful that I can read a statute and understand it because the officer sent me a statute and I parsed the statute and responded to it. I really kind of...

So in these last couple days, because it's been a lot, I swear I've had at least six or seven phone calls with this wonderful officer and getting really kind of tired of it, frankly. But there's so many gifts, even in that moment where I felt the trauma, I felt the fear, and I saw her fear and anxiety, and it really rocked me.

Christine Gale (11:57.646)
So what about you? Has there been a situation where you have felt unjustly attacked?

Christine Gale (12:07.362)
My husband lost his job. He was fired out of nowhere and unceremoniously marched out of the hospital where he worked, completely traumatized, did nothing to deserve it. They didn't even give him a reason. And so it's not like we haven't experienced this before, but the reason I wanted to share this with you is because I know there's somebody out there who is feeling the weight of unjust treatment and the

helplessness of watching either yourself suffer in the mirror or somebody you love like I had to watch when my husband lost his job and it impacts you and it changes you and it unhinges you you're like a spinning top on the table and somebody came along and flipped you and you're wobbly and you're like what do do now here's the thing here's what you do you go back to who you are you look yourself in the mirror and you'd be like

I am Christine freaking Gail. know who I am. I know what I believe. I know what I stand for. I know what my values are and I will take action that is in alignment with who I know I am. I'm not gonna freak out. I'm not gonna lash out. I'm not gonna just to go crazy because how is that gonna serve the end goal of living in alignment and showing my daughter, how do you respond when you are unjustly treated? How do you respond when you are attacked? You stand up for yourself.

but you make choices and behaviors that are deliberate and responsive, not reactionary and emotional.

How's that for a rant?

Christine Gale (13:40.044)
And it was one of those 24 hour periods. I have to laugh because it didn't stop there. So we understand what's happening. We realize we have some decisions to make, but my daughter has to get the volleyball. So she's driving this car without a side mirror. It's very unsettling. And the reason she had to drive that is because I had a loaner, which she's not old enough to drive. So you see how the dominoes are falling. So I'm sending her off, unsafe car, praying.

God's sweet angels protect her. She gets to volleyball. She texts me half an hour later, Mom, please come. I'm really hurt. And I'm thinking, this has to be a joke. Like this can't be happening. Oh no, it was happening. My daughter plays in a travel volleyball team and she's working so hard for playing time. And she came down from a hit and snapped her ankle.

And first we're like, she just sprained it. She'll be fine. Maybe she can drive home. She's like, I'm in so much pain. I'm in a wheelchair. And I'm like, you're in a freaking wheelchair? Like your car was attacked by a crazy ex friend and now you're in a wheelchair. Holy smokes. This can't be happening. It was happening. So I'm driving down there to get her. thinking this, this is, this is a lot. I was working my tools, right? I was being responsive. I was being in control. I was acting in alignment. Now I'm like, I'm going to burst.

I was like, really God, really what's going on? And so I'm watching my daughter who's already traumatized. She's already anxious and now she's in excruciating pain and her season, I can't say it's over, but four to six weeks, she doesn't have much time left. And I'm thinking now we've got grief, we've got loss, we've got fear, we've got trauma and we've got injustice on more than one front. What do I do?

Christine Gale (15:36.078)
And even though I wasn't consciously looking for the gifts, the gifts kept appearing and I was ready. Because as we're driving from, I get her out into the car in freaking wheelchair, I start running through the wheelchair, you know, like I used to do. If you ever did this with your kids in the parking lot with the grocery carts, I was one those crazy moms that, well, okay, maybe that's just me. But when you have four kids in six years, sometimes you gotta make those target runs fun. So I'm running through the thing, I'm wheeling her on and just trying to

find even just a measure of levity and joy and silliness because you, you gotta be resourceful when you're facing injustice, loss, pain, fear, anxiety. You still have the ability to have a sense of humor. I know that might seem crazy, but what it did is it lightened her mood. It helped her laugh.

And even though inside I was feeling this roiling anger and fear and frustration and sadness, I was able to draw on my tools to be playful. And we get her in the car and we're starting to drive and she said, mama, I really need you to be positive for me. And I thought to myself, I have raised a bad ass.

And the gift that I found other than that one was that she has watched me work on myself and my mindset for years now and she's absorbing far more than I ever dreamed she was.

And she's seen me not be so positive. She's seen me be reactionary and she understands the negative impact and implications that that is for me, for her, for the situation. And she's strong enough to say, I need you to be positive. I need, I need, Phil Nibladeg. What an incredible gift to realize that in that moment, my traumatized grief stricken daughter who's in physical pain,

Christine Gale (17:52.138)
is so confident in who she is, she knew to ask for what she needed. I found the gift sister. So what is it for you? Is it a job loss? Is it a breakup? Is it a health scare?

Christine Gale (18:12.172)
Are you insecure in your job right now?

Have you been abused?

I know it's hard to find the gifts, but I can promise you that if the only gift you can find is to look in the mirror and say, I'm alive, I got up today, boom, go me. That's a gift.

If the gift is you feel closer to God because you're reaching out to him in desperation or her, however you refer to God is up to you. Or if you're able to look in the mirror and say, I didn't know I had this much resilience in me. And if this hadn't happened or I wasn't facing this situation, I may never know that. Thank you. Thank you. Find the gift. Even in the midst of trauma.

and attacks, disappointments, heartache. If you're on the lookout for the gifts, they will show themselves to you.

Christine Gale (19:19.758)
So just for shits and giggles. Because the 24 hours couldn't be. Well, before I get there, I want to tell you one last gift because as I was tucking my daughter into bed and piling up the pillows to elevate her foot, she asked me to sit. I had all this stuff in my hand. She said, can you set that down? like, in my mind, I'm so weary at that point. I'm like, what else does she need? She said, mama, just put that stuff down. I just want to hug you.

Christine Gale (19:50.508)
And she said, you're my rock.

Christine Gale (19:58.28)
I couldn't have done this without you. And I thought to myself, I feel so weak and ineffective and unable to protect her. And that's my junk. That's a me problem because this almost 18 year old child doesn't see that. She sees the gift that her mama is for her. So sister, if you're watching a loved one hurt, especially if it's a child,

and you're reaching deep into the recesses of your body and your spirit to be as strong and protective and calm as you can possibly be because you know that's what this person needs. And the only thing you can take away from this is that you're the rock for another human. That's enough.

That's enough. And that's the starting point of the healing. That's the starting plan path for navigating through the situation, not the problem, the situation, right? It's not a problem, it's a situation. You're a badass. You're resourceful. You're courageous. You're fearless. You can do this. You're amazing. You're alive. You woke up on the right side of the ground. That's a great starting point. So when you're navigating trauma or you're navigating unjust attacks or unfair treatment, go back to what you know to be true.

And if you don't feel it, speak it anyway. Anybody who's been listening to me for more than five minutes knows I'm a huge proponent of incantations. And so what you do is you get up and you put your shoulders back, tits up, hands on your hips, stand like a superwoman and say, I am amazing. I am a badass. I have everything I need within me now to navigate this situation because I am extraordinary.

and you repeat it over and you move your body and you focus on what you can fix, not what's wrong. And you use language that surrounds your situation that is empowering and doesn't make it worse than it is, doesn't make it less than it is, but doesn't exaggerate it. You don't say, my gosh, this is absolutely horrible. This is the worst thing that can possibly happen. You know what? There's bad things that happen to.

Christine Gale (22:10.6)
every human having a human experience, but how you decide to describe it and how you do what you decide to focus on and how you decide to stand in your physiology will often determine how you navigate the situation. So what's your situation you're working on today? Because yeah, back to the whole shits and giggles things. Because the 24 hours wasn't crazy enough. I get a fraud alert on my phone that there was some

charge to target wasn't in my bank account. like, I don't know what this is. Somebody in Colorado tried to charge $90.17 to target on Sophie's debit. Has her car attacked by a crazy ex friend, breaks her ankle, and has her debit card hacked. I mean, I told her, said, hey, bad things come in three, you're good for 2025. We are set. It's going to be an amazing year.

And it was so ridiculous at that point that she and I started busting out laughing. We're like, okay, whatever. This is nuts. You can't make this stuff up. In fact, after I record this, I'm going to the bank to sign a fraud slip because those stinkers did get $50 out of her account before they shut it down. I'm like, God, why does this stuff happen? You know what? It happens, right?

And I can sit there and say, this is just such a shitty day. I can't believe this is happening. This is so horrible. How are we ever gonna, or I can just be like, you know what? It's a hefty amount of situations that we've got to navigate, but we are going to do it together. I'm going to find the gifts in this. I'm going to comfort my child. I'm going to find resilience that I have to draw on right now. I'm going to remind myself who I am. I'm going to be grateful that I have a purpose.

I am going to be aware that I have passion to protect those I love and I'm going to be really, really, really fucking grateful that I am an incredibly intelligent attorney who has been able to navigate the legal quagmires and come up with a solution that I hope will protect my child and give this young man some consequences that will make him think twice before he ever does anything to threaten another person. So what I can do. So I'll leave you with this.

Christine Gale (24:31.298)
Whatever situation you're facing sister, you have what it takes to navigate it. Even if it feels heavy, look for the gifts, respond, don't react and break it down into smaller chunks. So those are my three recommendations. What do I mean by smaller chunks? One step at a time, one MRI at a time, one phone call at a time.

For me, it's one statute review at a time. One step at a time. Don't try to handle it all. And if things are really bad, please, please, please get professional help because Lord knows I've had enough traumas in my life that I could not navigate on my own and I should not navigate on my own. If you have a loved one or a friend or a tribe or a mastermind or a coach, reach out to them. You do not have to do this life on your own.

And what is also true is you have the strength within you and you have the tools at your disposal. Just make sure you stay within yourself. Choose to respond. Take a breath. Take a pause. And handle the situation. I love you so much. Thank you for joining me for this very special Thursday episode of the Girl Out of Order podcast about unjust treatment attacks.

and other situations. You're amazing. The world needs you, sister. The world needs your positivity, just like my daughter said. I need you to be positive for me. Our world needs you to be positive, to be confident, and to be responsive. Because our girls out of order are changing this world, one woman at a time. I love you, and we're in this together. I'll see you on Monday.