#95 - Owning It & Staying True With Loren Lahav

"Owning it means embracing every part of your journey—the messy, the magical, and everything in between." Loren Lahav

What does it truly mean to own it—your story, your mission, your worth? Today, I’m joined by the incredible Loren Lahav, a powerhouse speaker, mentor, and all-around beautiful badass who has spent decades empowering women to step into their greatness. Loren and I first crossed paths in Fiji, and from that moment, I knew she had to be in my life and on this podcast. In this powerful episode, we dive deep into the journey of self-discovery, the power of intuition, and the importance of surrounding yourself with the right people.

Loren shares her fascinating backstory—from her unexpected introduction to Tony Robbins, to her years of leadership within his organization, to the creation of OWN IT, her life-changing event designed to help women fully embrace who they are. We talk about learning to listen to life’s whispers, making bold moves before you feel “ready,” and the evolution of self-worth. If you’ve been waiting for permission to step up and claim your space in this world, this is it!

Episode Highlights:

[3:15] - Loren’s first introduction to Tony Robbins and how it changed the trajectory of her life
[9:40] - The whispers we ignore—how intuition can guide us to our next chapter
[16:00] - Conducting a “life audit” and why certain relationships no longer serve you
[27:45] - The power of your inner dialogue and how it shapes your reality
[39:10] - Why true connection matters: Building a tribe that lifts you higher
[45:30] - The story behind OWN IT—and why it's so much more than an event

Links & Resources:

🔹 Join Us at OWN IT (March 7-9, 2025) – Get all the details and grab your spot: https://incredevent.com/own-your-worth-experience-2025-nevada-1479825718?pv=662a9b87b771115dae0c7213
🔹 Connect with Loren Lahav: [Website] https://lorenlahav.com/ | [Instagram] https://www.instagram.com/iamlorenlahav/ | [Facebook] https://www.facebook.com/IAmLorenLahav
🔹 Get Loren’s book Stay True on Amazon or at your favorite retailer
🔹 Follow & Connect With Me: https://www.thechristinegale.com/,  https://www.facebook.com/christine.salsberrygale, https://www.instagram.com/thechristinegale/
🔹 Want a FREE Virtual Ticket to OWN IT? Use the coupon code TLCFREE

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Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:02.287)
So welcome to the girl out of order podcast my friend

Hello Christine, you cutie patootie.

I am so excited that, I have been waiting for this since the day we met in Fiji. I'm like, she's going to be on my podcast. And here you are, gosh, a year and a half later.

No, I was like wonder when you're gonna invite me as like should I feel a little sad that she hasn't invited me or? Okay

Well, you know, there's something too when you invite somebody that you admire so much. It's like, I want to be ready. But the thing you've taught me is act when you need to act. Don't wait till you're ready because we're never really going to be ready, right?

Speaker 1 (00:45.654)
Yeah, I definitely do it messy. And I think that my dear friend, Eric Worre, says, I love what he says. He says, say yes, tell the world, figure it out. I mean, you just got to figure it out along the way. Can't wait for the perfect time. There's never a perfect time, ever.

man, have I learned that in the last year and a half of being in your amazing orbit. So for my community who doesn't know this incredible soul, I first heard of Lauren LeHavne when I was coaching with Corrine Humphrey. As she said to me, she said, you have to get to know Lauren LeHavne. And I'll be honest, Lauren, I was like, who the F is Lauren LeHavne? I hadn't heard of you. hadn't followed you. I didn't know you. And I'm a firm believer that when we're ready,

When the student is ready, the teacher appears. And so then a month after Corinne mentioned your name, another friend of mine in the Tony Robbins world said, you know, you remind me so much of Lauren. You guys just have the same energy. You've got to get to know Lauren. I was like, all right, that's it. I'd already planned the trip to Fiji, but I still wasn't sure quite how it was all going to unfold. So I hop on the intro to Fiji, zoom call, right? And there's Lauren freaking Lahav. I'm like, the universe is speaking. And so we.

got to know each other a little bit in Fiji, and then obviously it's been increasing since then. And so I'm excited to have you on because I just admire you so much. But more than that, I've come to absolutely love you. And because it makes me emotional because your impact on this world is so far reaching and so selfless. And it's an example that so many women I believe should be following.

So before we dive into your mission, I just wanted you to have an opportunity to introduce yourself to the Girl Out of Order community. Who are you and how did you get to where you are today?

Speaker 1 (02:39.342)
Well, I guess we'll start here with, see, with bonjour, y'all. So I think I'll start there because that pretty much sums it up. I'm originally from Asheville, North Carolina. Many people haven't ever heard of Asheville until, unfortunately, the Helene, Hurricane Helene, it just happened when I...

When I grew up there, you know, it's like we would drive to Atlanta just to have something to do, right? Or I remember we would drive to Atlanta to get fresh bagels. I mean, that just goes to show you how it's just a sweet, small town back in, you know, in the sixties. I'm very, very proud to be from Asheville. My dad was an optometrist for 52 years. He was in every non-for-profit, you know, he was in the Lions Club for 52 years.

my, I grew up on the flea market. always say like when there were actual fleas, not like these boozy flea markets that happen now. And, you know, my parents, I have a lot to thank them for, especially that part of contribution. Like I said, we sold the brooms for the Lions club and we, we, we, volunteered at Margie McKeown home for the blind. I mean, we, my dad started the housing authority and, just.

So I'm from Asheville and like I said, I went to the University of Georgia and I was a journalism major at the University of Georgia. was studying broadcast journalism. I was the first girl from Western North Carolina to ever get an Army ROTC scholarship. So I'm not like you. I wasn't ever super, super smart and I was definitely not super athletic. So I was looking for a scholarship I could get and everybody was like, I'll try this Army ROTC scholarship thing.

And I got it and I went to Georgia and I was going to, it was back in the eighties when CNN was first starting off. It's when the first kind of cable, not, you know, not one of the ABC CBS NBC. was one of the very first cable stations. And I was going be a news correspondent. And when I was there and I graduated, I was like, okay, if I take this job, I'm going to end up like just getting up at like three in the morning.

Speaker 1 (04:49.966)
I went on the news, reading from a prompter and I'm like, is that really what I want? And as I always say, I do what any good college graduate would do. And I moved to Vail, Colorado to work on my doctorate of waitressing degree. uh, we were just talking about waitressing that I think I was talking to someone else on a podcast and just, I think that everybody should be in the service industry just so much. And I love stories. So I moved to.

Yes!

Speaker 1 (05:17.91)
I moved to Colorado, with the backstory. Let me back it up a little bit. Cause like you said, a lot of people don't know my story story of how I got introduced to Tony and everything else. So when I was in college, I was in charge of a group called the Georgia girls and they would show all the football recruits around. and it was awesome. It was so great. know, we were, they would, back then it was really intense. Then CAA.

lucky football recruits.

Speaker 1 (05:47.384)
Like they would, if you, couldn't give anything away with monetary value. So they would come in and measure like the size of the glass cups that you would give everybody. You couldn't give a program to the players until after the game was over. And what was really amazing is, you know, it'd be the best guy from one school who's sitting beside the best guy from the other school. So they're like, I didn't know he was going to be here. So you had to learn a lot of rapport skills back then. I realized like how much I had to.

What I've learned over the years in personal development is what I was really practicing back then. Conflict resolution, so many things that I already had this unconscious confidence about that I didn't even know as a young kid. But the last game of the season, I really wanted to go with my boyfriend at the time to the game and not have to show recruits around.

So we went to the game and we're coming back from the game and we're walking past this book, the bookstore, the university bookstore. And he sees this book in the window and it says unlimited power. And he was like, oh my God, that is so you. And so he dragged me into the bookstore. And now back then there were not like personal development books and cookbooks and there were just books. And he takes me in the bookstore, he picks up the book and he flips the book over and it's Tony Robbins.

on the back of the book in a three piece suit. He's got the suspenders. He's walking on a fire rock lane. And my boyfriend goes, one day we're going to go to a Tony Robbins seminar. And this was 87, like I said, October 87. And I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. I am freaking moving to Atlanta. I'm working for CNN. I'm getting a job, whatever. So he bought me the book and I, as I said, they moved to Colorado and the book came with me because the colors were red and black.

colors of Georgia and one day I was waiting on this table full of men and I was like okay I got it and it turned out it was the world of sports and I was getting into sports marketing my manager he said anybody that had to do with the world of sports at my table and they go what are you gonna do when you grow up real sarcastically and I put up my swag and swagger and I said I'm gonna be a waitress in Colorado for the rest of my life and then I go no.

Speaker 1 (08:03.572)
I'm going to get into sports marketing. They all start laughing. So I put on my sass and I'm like, look, this is what I'm going to do. And they go, young lady, do you know who we are? And I'm like, I have no idea. I just treat everybody the same. And I had a lot of celebrities at my other tables, you know, who I didn't know who they were and they liked that. So one was Mark McCormick and Donald Dell, like the world of sports, Howard Head and

The head of the table was this guy named Joe Harper. And he goes, my name is Joe Harper. I'm general manager of the Del Mar thoroughbred club. I want you to come work for me. And I look at him. I'm like, where is Del Mar? And he's perfect. And I'm like, I have no idea what you're talking about. And he goes, you're perfect. And he goes, when can you start? And my manager, Kevin Foley, loved him so much. He said she can start next week. I'll have someone drive her out.

Right?

Speaker 1 (09:01.336)
So I moved to California, took this job in charge of events, organizing all these events in the infield, you know, Chicago, Arlington Park that you used to have, I guess it's not there anymore. I actually was gonna either take a job at Arlington Park, because I was offered a job there or take a job at Del Mar, but I I liked a boy and he was moving to Chicago, so I think I was following him, so if he's listening right now, because I know he still Facebook.

He still kind of like checks me out. I know I see it every so often. Anyway, I didn't move because of him when I moved to San Diego. know, Tony Robbins always talks about the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment, right? And I loved what I did. I'm so grateful. met extraordinary people. I got to take everybody down to the winner circle. I met Tim Conway. I met Bruce Willis. I met just awesome, awesome people, but I wasn't fulfilled.

I was like, this is great, but something's missing. And November of 1989, I'd been working at the track for two years. I would go spend the summers in San Diego and spend winter in Colorado. And my friend said, hey, we're gonna go deliver food to the homeless. Do you wanna go? I'm like, oh my God, that'd be amazing. So he gave me the address and I showed up at this big house in Del Mar, California, which is no big deal, because everybody's got a big house in Del Mar.

Right, right, exactly.

So I show up, there's about 25 people and we're given these directions and these baskets and we're told where to go deliver this food to. And I'm like, oh my God, yay, more people like me. Yay, people that wanna do good. And so I came back to the house, I was 24 years old at the time. I will come back to the house.

Speaker 1 (10:54.976)
and everybody's talking to each other, but not talking to me, because they don't know me. I'm just some kid that shows up with my friend. I go, his name is Tom, my friend Tom Landers invited me, and I'm walking around the turret of this house that actually is a castle. And I'm walking around the turret and I see this guy in the president, guy in Nelson Mandela, this guy in Michael Jackson. And I get to one of those giant shadow boxes.

with a book in it. And I'm like, my God, that's the book. Like that's the book that, you know, that Frank bought me.

So it was in the shadow box.

Yeah, I was in a big shadow box, like hanging on the wall. And I'm like, that's the book. And I'm looking at it all by myself. And then this guy comes, taps me on the shoulder and he goes, Hey, have you read my book? And I'm like, no. And Tony was only 29 at the time. mean, think of that. How wild is that to think of?

Young Tony, I gotta be honest, is so funny to look at.

Speaker 1 (11:59.95)
young classic classic to me from the archives. And he said, he said, so sweet. And he goes, Hey, look, I saw you had a really great time today. Why don't you stay for dinner? And I'm like, okay, like I'm 24 at the time. mean, what, course, okay. Right. And so I show up little do I know that that's his company. And so I show up and

You're go,

Speaker 1 (12:29.134)
This guy's like, what did, says to my friend, Tom, what's she doing here? I'm like, I don't know that big guy who wrote the book whose house we're at, like invited me to dinner. And he says, this, do you not realize where you are? Like, this is Tony Robbins company. And I'm like, this is Robbins Research International. I'm like, okay, whatever. And I, it was the beginning of his company. It was the very first basketball game that he did. And I remember him standing up saying,

This year we did 100 baskets, next year we're gonna do 1,000, then we're gonna do 100,000. Now you look that they're doing almost, I think they're gonna do 70 billion meals this year. And I'm so grateful for him to, someone who has a dream and nothing takes him off track. So that's, I ended up going to work for the company. The guy who said, what is she doing here? Ended up being the father of my three kids. So you just never know.

Wait a second. So I didn't know that. So sure was the one who said, why are you here or who let her hear what? However, he said it. I was sure.

was a fifth, yeah, that was sure. He was the fifth employee at Robbins. I ended up renting a room from my friend Tom Landers and little did I know that I was, that Shore was on the road. He was a field sales representative. And one day I come home and he's sleeping in my bed. But my friend Tom, if you're listening, Tom, was renting the same room out to me that he was renting out to Shore and he didn't think we were going to cross paths. He thought we would just be gone. come home and

There's a guy sleeping in my bed and I didn't invite him there, not sure. So you never know. You never know.

Speaker 2 (14:05.996)
I want to circle back to something you said, Lauren, because I think it's really important and I don't want to gloss over it. I know some of your story. I didn't know all the little deets, but you made a reference to what Tony teaches about the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. And as you're telling your story, I love your stories. I always ride the wave of your stories. But there was a point at which on paper you should have felt fulfilled, right? But it was achievement. It was like,

meeting celebrities and feeling, you know, having significance, but inside and what I've come to know, and I'm so thankful for your friendship and your mentorship and your leadership, but what I've gotten to know you as a human being, one of the things that stands out the most to me about you, and I mean, there's a lot of things, but this one in particular is that you listen.

to your intuition. You listen to the signals that your spirit tells you. And it's so amazing because even in that moment when on paper maybe you should have felt like you had achieved things, you heard that still small voice that said there's gotta be more than this.

Yeah, well, it's the whispers, you know, it's the whispers that we ignore. It's kind of like I was, you know, thank you for rescheduling this because I had an appointment. And as I was coming back, there was, I went to go buy Whole Foods and to get a drink, a grapefruit juice, if you're wondering what I went and got. I went got a grapefruit juice and it's really windy today. And there was a lady who had a, she had like a little bit of a hunchback and

It was super, super windy and she had a dog with her and she wasn't like going out there and like looking for anything, but I could tell something wasn't right. And I went back in and I got something for her and her dog. And she's like, how did you know? And I go, I don't know. I go, just have a wonderful day. I go, I just love that you care about your dog so much. And I think we have to listen to the, mean, my heart was saying.

Speaker 1 (16:10.69)
Would I feel good? You know my question. if I say yes to this, am I staying true to myself? That's my question. That's my question that I ask with everything I do. Even if it's someone asked me to be on a podcast, someone who writes asked me to do something. You my friend Steven just wrote a book and he's a divorce attorney in New Orleans. And he asked me to write a testimonial for him for his book. And I'm like, okay, if I say yes to this, am I staying true to myself? And then I like read his book. I'm like, Steven, this is so amazing.

Heck yeah, I'll write a testimonial. This is awesome. And it's a big book. It's a big book. But I started reading it. So I think that having a question you ask yourself will help you listen to you, not the noise that's around you. That's what I would say. mean, for me, it's like with everything, that's my compass. That's what I look at. I'm like, okay, if I say yes, then I stay true to myself.

And then if I have some, any kind of question whatsoever, I have to look at what's causing me to, you know, have kind of that questioning my north. And lots of times it's the noise. Or I expect it to be noise.

Expectations.

Expectations. Yeah, no, I appreciate that. And, know, as people get to know you, many of us that are in your orbit now got to know you through the Tony Robbins world. And what I wanted to do as we introduce you to my community is I want people to get to know Lauren Lahav as the standalone, as the woman, as the warrior, as the servant, as the leader, as this woman who

Speaker 2 (17:59.758)
I've got your book here as the woman who is all about staying true. Usually it's actually sitting back there. I sometimes forget to take it down when I go in court. But what led me back to you after Fiji? Because when you were in Fiji, I think I told you this. When you were in Fiji, I was like, I don't know about this one. I don't know if she's what I thought she was. I don't know if I resonate with her. And it was not because of anything you did, said, or didn't do or say.

It was that you were in your role and you're so loyal and so faithful. You were fulfilling your role. You're honoring Tony. You're you're executing the mission. It was when I had the privilege of being able to be with you, sit with you, observe you, take you in. When we when I did the True Voice Intensive in February of twenty twenty four that I said, now I get it. Now I see the woman who is staying true to her, because then it was like you were unleashed.

to take all that you've learned and all that you've gained that's been beautiful through the Tony verse, but you're not a Tony person. You're a standalone badass that's beautiful and on a mission. So what I wanted to ask you, and I want you to tell, explain to me, like, what would you say your mission is apart from what you do to serve in the Tony Robbins world?

Well, thank you for saying that. I really appreciate that. And I'm so, so, so grateful for all the amazing people. I'm so grateful to Tony and to Sage, because I think Tony really saw a lot in me that I didn't see in myself. And I think you need those mentors. Hopefully I've been that mentor for you and for others. You just got to meet Kara and Kara when she came to an event. She's like, Lauren, you're kind of like...

You have I was gonna say

Speaker 1 (19:51.746)
You know, you're like, fly, fly, fly, fly, like you're underneath our wing, you know, like the wind underneath the wings, but you're saying, fly, fly, you got this, you got this. And I think that, you know, it's our insecurities that get in the way of all of those different things. And we feel like that we needed to, you know, I remember when Tony asked me to launch Life Mastery, because I, you the crew was my baby.

And he's like, Lauren, you just don't want to give up the crew. go, no, Tony, that's not it at all. I want, I just want to find somebody who's as passionate as I am about the crew to take over. want to know that when I pass the torch, it's, someone's going to have as much love for these people as I do. And so when he asked me to launch Life Mastery and I said, Tony, I don't have as much skill. Like why you could have chosen anybody. Why'd you choose me? And he said, Lauren, I knew you take care of these people. I'm like, okay, I know how to do that. I know how to take care of people. Right.

And I think that so many times we get lost and like, I need to be a little, you know, do I need to be a little this or I didn't know you need to be you. And I think you asked me like, how did this whole mission start? What happened was when we were in Fiji, as you know, we lived there for two and a half years. We were teaching 36 week long programs a year. Loved it, but it was Groundhog Day. Like a group would come in, we'd fall in love with them. Then they would leave. And Shura and I taught the program together. We moved our whole family over there to Fiji. And

I was young, was in my 36, right? When we were teaching the program. And throughout it, I was discovering myself. I was, I needed that time to find out me, to really discover me. And one day I looked at Sean, go, it's time to go. And he goes, what do you mean? I said, I realized like what I need to do. said,

I love this program, I love what it is. I but I feel like the gift that I bring is that to people and to their lives is where they get great information, but then they need to get back to who are they at their core. It was a journey that I took myself on. So I had gotten so caught into being a role instead of like, who am I at my core? So we get locked into our roles as an attorney, as a mom, as a wife, as a this, as a that, but who are you at your core?

Speaker 1 (22:05.952)
And so I said, need to go back, I need to get back to the United States. And a lot of people are like, what are you talking about? Like, look at you, like you're doing this. I'm like, I get it. I go, but this is about, you know, I believe that a great leader is a great duplicator. So I don't think that I, I don't want to make myself indispensable. I'm going to teach other people how to do what I do. So I'm like, I think I've inspired just your everyday woman. This was once again, back in 2004. So this isn't like a new thing.

This was like, it's been a mission for me, for 21 years? And I go, I think I've inspired women to go, okay, I'm not saying like the only one. I mean, there's so many wonderful people, Maryamana Morrissey, there's, know, Louise Hayes, so many people, I've been my mentors to inspire like Maryamana Morrissey, she's like five foot, Marianne Williamson's maybe five foot.

You know, a young Avanzan, I could go on and on. Anita Roddick, so many women who've inspired me. But for me, I was watching because I saw so many people come through the program, you for years. That's a lot of people working with. I mean, you've seen it's a lot. You're proximity wise, you're with people for a long time, 13 hours a day. And we've been with people even more than that. And so

It was my journey to be like, I think I need to go home. said, I need to, I need to help get women back to their core. Because I say that there's four different stages that we go through. And that is first is discovering who we are. Right? Like you've got kids, you've got teenage girls, like, who am I? Like, what do I stand for? What are we this? What am I that? Then we get to be in our twenties and we're like, yeah, I know who I am. Like I'm the coolest. I'm this and that. I got this. Right. And then.

Then a life situation comes up, right? You lose a job, you get married, you get pregnant, something, and you go, holy doggy, it's like, who am I? And then there's that rediscovery process. And then there's the fourth part, I would say, which is the staying connected, which is really where I am right now. Like I know who I am. know, and I don't know if it's something that happens in your fifties, but I kind of feel like it's something that happens in your fifties. Yeah. And you need all of it. You need that compounding for you to really

Speaker 1 (24:28.27)
There's something about life lessons, right? They get you that compounding effect. They get you to be like so grounded. So I came back in 2004 and I started doing these events. I called them La Bella and you know, La Bella means the beautiful one, but you know, the short call me La Bella because my name is spelled L-O and I'm like, yeah, that's it. Beautiful inside and out. And so I would do these retreats. And so that's how it started 2004.

And I would, one, I love community. You know this, I'm a quality time girl, I'm deep. I like deep relationships. have a lot of, I have a list called my Nifty 50, it's the top 50 people I would do anything for. The list has changed, the list keeps evolving, keeps, you know, that's been a hard thing, I think, you know, to kind of see that your list changes. But it's beautiful too, because I'm not,

I'm really true to myself instead of trying to be a people pleaser the way that I used to be.

Hey Lauren, before you go on to that part, I want to, can I just drill down in that one quick second? Because what you said there is so powerful and I don't want it to pass it by because it just literally had that same conversation with Kara this morning because when she went through her divorce, she did an audit of her life and she said not everybody made the cut. It was such a powerful visual because she didn't say it with harshness. She didn't say it with, well,

screw you, she said some people I lovingly let go, some people I just had to put it in arm's length and other people it was a hard no more. And so when I think about you and your list of nifty 50, what I love about that is there's no anger in it. But it's like when you know your true north, when you're gonna stay true to who you are, sometimes as we evolve, we have to lovingly let go of people or jobs or situations

Speaker 2 (26:28.99)
or interactions that no longer serve our true voice.

Yeah, and I mean, I respect that with everybody. Like I have a friend that, you know, that they made some shifts. I'm like, that's awesome. Like here's, that's what our goal is, right? Our goal is to evolve and to make these distinctions. You know, there's a beautiful, no matter what your religious beliefs are, there's a beautiful story from the Kabbalah. It's like that your goal is not to come into the world and be a good person and not learn anything and just be a good person and lead, right?

Your goal is to learn these lessons, right? So that you are, you know, we talk about being 1 % better every day, that's 365 % better by the end of the year. That's it. And that's what want. We want to keep getting better. We want to keep learning. know, Kabbalah calls it your to-cune, your correction. Like, what do you need to do? Like for me, I remember once somebody said to me, they go,

You like hear about people that don't even care about you, you know, like that there and I'm like, I don't know. All I know is I, one of my mantras is do the right thing. Every dog on day of your life. think I shared this before with you. have a mirror that I've had for 30 years, 30 years. I've had it as the last thing that I see before I walk out the door. And I thought at the top of the mirror, it said, do the right thing. Every dog on day of your life.

Someone came over to my house and they're like, what do mean it doesn't say that? go, yes, it does. Like I'm looking at the mirror every day. What are you talking about? I've seen that mirror for 30 years every day of my life. And they're like, no, Lauren, it says do the right thing almost every day of your life. And so isn't it funny? I mean, that word almost, I've always just seen what I wanted to see, which was do the right thing every day of your life, know, every doggone day of your life. So I think that.

Speaker 1 (28:28.174)
For me, I just choose to see the good. Like I'm always focusing on the good. Even if there's something else, I'm like, I don't see it. Because I'm like, where am I going to put my energy? I love what you said about Kara because I think we talked about this before too. I do, I did something, I think I started it about a year and a half ago. And I've never understood the word anxiety when people have said that word anxiety. like, don't know what does that mean? Like what does that word even mean?

And until I experienced it and I was like, my God, like, was this? What happened here? And it was after I had a phone call with somebody. So I decided to do an audit and that was how do I feel after every phone call, after every conversation with somebody. And I ranked it on a scale of zero to 10. How did I feel? Did I feel empowered? Did I feel inspired? Did I feel drained? Did I feel this? What caused me to feel that way? Kind of like the mood meter that we teach at Life Mastery.

And that's really helped me stay true to myself. Like who do I really, who do I really want to spend my, where do I really want to spend my time? And so it's not a bad thing. It's just a recalibration. I think it's a recalibration time.

Yeah, and you had said something to a few statements ago about the changes that happened to us in our 50s. I'm 53, know, had a hysterectomy and full-blown menopause and getting ready to be an empty nester. I mean, my last one turns 18 in April and you have to, as you navigate lies, no, you get to, you get to evaluate where you're at and you get to decide like,

What is my priority? What is my focus? How am I going to describe this situation? Because I I'll tell you a really brief story. I was at the dentist yesterday with Sophie and I got really emotional because I realized that this was the last time I was bring a child to the dentist. I was really emotional and one of the gals that works there. She our daughters ran together so she comes out. She sits down and we're John about all kids are doing this. I said, well, how is it being an empty nester in that big beautiful house of yours? And she goes, it's terrible.

Speaker 2 (30:44.334)
And I thought she was kidding, because she's kind of a jokester. I said, what do mean? It's terrible. She's like, it's awful. I hate it. I'm so bored. And I thought to myself, first of all, I gave her lots of love, gentle invitation to maybe reframe that. But I walked away from that feeling so deeply grateful that I'm not in that place and allowing my head to be in that space. Because it's very easy to frame.

what we're going through, whether we get betrayed, we've talked about this, where we get betrayed by a friend. Like it's very easy to say like, what's wrong with me? Or really get focused on the hurt as opposed to where's the gift in this? Where's the redirection? Where's the recalibration? Whether it's 30s, 40s, 50s, but I do agree with you. think something shifts in our 50s as a woman. I don't know what it is, but it does.

it is, but I love it. It's interesting that you said that about the story about you feeling like that this was the last time you were going to go to the dentist with her and whole thing. Because it reminds me of when I was loving what I was doing as the crew director. mean, my identity was really, really wrapped around this whole crew thing. And it's almost like though you heard the noise happening.

around you and you're like, like that people were deciding for you that you weren't going to be doing it anymore because I was pregnant with Joss. And I remember it was like, well, my gosh, like now you're going to have a kid and like now your life's going to change. And I remember putting my hand on the plane and go, my God, this is the last time I'm ever going to get on the plane by myself ever again. And I remember taking my hand, looking at my hand and going, that was the

Dumbest thing. I remember having a conversation with myself going, that my nails look so good, look at my broken nails. That was the dumbest thing you have ever said to yourself in your life. I literally said that to myself. I remember exactly what I was wearing. I remember being seven and half months pregnant, coming back from leaving Dulles Airport. And I said, you will decide how you want to create your life. And that's when I started writing my first book, The Greatest Love.

Speaker 1 (32:53.742)
And I said, how do really want to decide this? mean, this was not, this was when your everyday mom, you know, person wasn't writing a book. And I'm like, I need to teach people that they decide what they, you know, that what they're really going to have. So I think that we have to be very careful of what we have. Once again, the noise of what people tell us of what's going on. That's what I mean for me. I stopped telling myself the menopause thing because I was like, my body was like, okay, we're going menopause now we're going to go through this and that.

I get to choose right now. I'm a fit Foxy endurance vixen. I'm going to be that throughout this little bump in the road right now. And then it's almost like my body started letting go of all of that stuff. I could give you guys some really great tips. Everyone's on me really great. But anyway, that's, I think that it's the conversation that we have with ourselves and we hear it over and over again, but you gotta really live it you guys.

But I...

Speaker 1 (33:52.856)
have to really live it.

Right. So what if you're watching this on YouTube, you saw what Lauren just did. If not, let me describe it for you. She just tapped her temples and the last two interviews, because I interviewed our friend Erin on Monday. That was a ride. I love that woman. And then interviewing Kara today, it's just been a very full, beautiful week. But every conversation it's coming up because what I tell my daughters and my clients is the greatest power you have is between your ears.

It's the one landscape in your whole life nobody gets to enter unless you give them permission to do so. And I've had, know, two, three out of my four daughters have struggled with suicidal ideations. And we have one struggling right now and it's a really scary time. And what I've been able to share with her and with all my daughters, they go through this is like, I know this is really hard and feels really heavy, but the great news is you get to choose.

And as you just sort of act, but you have to exercise that muscle, don't you think? Like it's like, you gotta build up that endurance of your mindset.

I do, and I also really believe that the part that helps reinforcing it is when you have to have awareness that something's not right, like that something's off that's causing you to feel that way. And you have to have the awareness of what is it that's causing you to feel that way. Is it...

Speaker 1 (35:16.494)
Is it maybe, and you have to once again do an audit. Like is it what you're listening to? Is it what you're watching? Is it the people that are around you? Is it you're not moving your body enough? Is it what you're eating? Because something, you gotta look for what triggers that for you. Because it just happens, right? Like so I had a trigger last week and I just said to myself, I wanna leave, wanna get out of here.

He's like, what do you mean? And then I told him what was going on. And I realized, know, and I was like, okay, Lauren, what is it that's triggered you to feel this way? And then I was like, okay, so what can I do right now? And it's once again, it goes back to what I talk about in the book. It's the inquiry. It's first of all, how you see you. I know you are passionate about this as well. It's how do you see yourself in the How do you see yourself? You know, I see myself, you know, as a real deal. I'm real, I'm wrong, right from the heart. What you see is what you get.

You know, and so I, so what is that identity that you see for yourself in the world? How you see yourself in the world is very important. The questions that you ask, the boundaries that you set and boundaries are a great thing because that says that, that led you, that's that line in the sand that goes, is, this is just boundaries at standards, it's whatever. But I do believe probably the most important is the people that you're around. I do believe that you have to be very, very,

very clear and very selective of your tribe, however you want to try your community, whatever that you want to look at it as, because that influenced it. I mean, it's like, I remember when my dad passed away, I can't believe it's gonna be 20 years. And I'm gonna just go back to Tony. He called my mom because my mom created the mastery store and all of the big events she used to buy, was cool stuff.

and she would, she would, she was in charge of that. Like I said, like the store. so Tony knew my parents very well. And he called my mom. I'll never forget. It was at my parents' house in North Carolina. I remember sitting on the steps and handing my mom the phone. And Tony said to her, goes, you are so lucky. You guys had so much passion in your relationship. And my mom goes, yeah, Tony, that's true. We had a lot of passion. She said, but we really liked each other.

Speaker 1 (37:43.174)
And I was like, listen, like, you know, like I said, I was 39 at the time and I'm like, okay, that's interesting. We really like each other. And now I get it. Like now I get it. Like I would choose, like I choose, don't, I don't just like be with my kids because of my kids. know you don't either. It's because I really like them. I like being with them. You know, I really like my husband. I like, choose to be with him. So look at those people, do an audit in your life about, you know, I really like them.

You know, I believe they're just like cool to be with. Like my friend Jen Steinman, one of my favorite people in the world. I just really like her. I was like, I want to just be with you. And she's like, okay, what do want to do? I go, okay, I'm come up with you. And I'm like, I'm like, I want to go take a knitting class with you. And she goes, are you serious? I've always wanted to take a knitting class, right? And we just laughed and with that. But I think just looking at the people who do you really like to be with and they make you walk away and you feel good.

Mmm.

I love that. And as we're getting ready to, you know, have your third Own It conference coming up, so excited and I'm so honored to be on the True Legacy Collective, the TLC panel. And I got to say, just as a little plug for TLC, it's not about being part of a mastermind. It's about being part of a tribe of women that are so aligned with my values and are so

focused on going in directions. I know I'm born and destined to go. And my husband and I were talking about this actually just the other day. I said, I'm taking it one year at a time. He goes, well, what would you do if you didn't have TLC? And I was like, I'm not talking about it. Like, we're not talking about that because right now this is my family. This is my tribe. These are my people. And you're right. When I come away from my pod meeting or my accountability meeting with Vid or you know, just

Speaker 2 (39:41.482)
Anytime I spend with these women, I come away better, happier, lighter, more, I feel so comforted and I feel less alone in whatever it is I'm going through, whether I'm celebrating or whether I'm struggling. When you have the right tribe around you, you are so much more anchored to staying true to who you are when the winds of life come blowing through.

I love that you say that. Thank you. mean, it's like, as we talk about, you sometimes we create things for ourselves, right? I mean, think that there's a part of me. I mean, I had done the mastermind before, but a little bit different before COVID. But I remember, I think it was before COVID, BC, right? we go, BC.

My husband worked from one of the biggest casinos in the world and so he would go to an office. That's what he would do, right? He'd go to an office. I would go to events. Like my things were more emergent. I worked from home. I've always worked from home. And I remember coming home one day, I mean, he home one day, I go, I gotta talk to you. And he goes, what's up? I go, I think I might be like depressed. He goes, what are you talking about? He goes, you're with people all day long. I go, no, I'm not.

I go, no, I'm not. go, I'm on phone calls. I'm on, don't even know. I think Zoom was fairly new. I go, but I'm not with people every day. I go, you are with people every day. You know, you're in the office, you're talking to people, you're having a meeting, you're talking in the breakfast room, you're doing all these things. I go, you're with people. And what I love, like you said, like with TLC is that we don't just do those calls, right? Then we get together and we're with each other. Like how we just got back from the DR, we're with each other.

So I think that making sure whatever your group is that you connect online, but you're also make sure to do something, schedule it to be with them, to be literally, as my friend Jay would say, be belly to belly with people. There's something about that belly to belly conversation, that belly belly touch. So, yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:51.212)
I got one more thing to say about that though, Lauren. I think that's really important because I want our women to hear this. One of the things I say on this podcast is if you want to, if you want a tribe that you're looking for, become the woman that you want to draw to yourself. And when we were in the DR, one of our gals had brought up, you know, just some observations about maybe some, you know, some clickiness, you know, typical women's stuff. And I actually had asked her later, I said, Hey, is there something I've done or haven't done? Like, Hey, I want to hear the feedback. Is there a way I can do?

things better or you and she made an observation about me and I was just so touched by it because I I'm very intentional with the women in our group and she said you're a hummingbird. I said what do mean she's like you go from person to person to person and I didn't even realize I did it but the reason I I do it is because I'm so freaking fascinated by every single woman in our collective that I'm always looking to connect with them and learn from them and listen to them and ask questions and inquire.

And it's again, it's like when you are with a group that inspires you, it's effortless.

It really is. I think that that's a really important thing. Like I said, you really like each other. That goes back to my mom talking about my dad. He's been with my husband all the time. like, what do want to do? I don't care. I just like being with you. I don't care. Like you said, asked me about Jen. If I were to say to her, I don't care. I just like being with you. It's like when we all went to Nashville, right?

my gosh, hey what happens in Nashville Lauren stays in Nashville.

Speaker 1 (43:31.81)
That's right, that's right. She slept with me.

I did. I did sleep with Lauren. I can honestly say I personally have slept with Lauren LeHavre. They're happy to say that. But you know, you are an extraordinary life force. You are so special to me. I try not to cry in the middle of my podcast, but you're a loyal, beautiful friend. And you're just a very curious human.

And I love that about you. And so I wanna pivot, well, as we start to kind of come into the finish line here, I wanna pivot to your event that's coming up because Own It's a big, big deal. And last year you gave me an opportunity, talk about Fly, Little Birdie Fly. You basically drop kicked me out of the nest and onto that stage. And it was one of the most consequential.

experiences of my life. had all four of my daughters on Zoom and their partners and my husband and you gave me an opportunity to live a dream, to tell my story.

Yeah, but you didn't, didn't, let's just be honest. I didn't just give you an opportunity, you earned it. Like I'm a, I'm a big person. I, I would love to say I gave you an opportunity. You earned it. So the first thing is you invested in yourself. I said to you, you came up to me before and you're like, here's what I want to do. And I'm, I really want to help people get on the right path. So I'm not, I don't, I don't like, I don't just like.

Speaker 1 (45:02.188)
recommend one thing to everybody. If I know somebody needs this, like you were, you wanted to meet more women in, because I told you that I thought that you could have a lot of value for women in law. And so I think I told you that last year, remember when we were talking. And I'm still telling you that, but then finally this year, was like, let me tell you about Erin, let me tell you about Kara, know, these women who are doing that. Because I believe like if you,

Yeah, you're still telling me that.

Speaker 1 (45:31.672)
that the outcome is for us to take what we've learned, whether from Tony's world or, know, Brendan, Rashard, or whoever your person is that you like to listen to and take that and apply it to maybe a field that really needs our help, right? And so like you as in the law firm, so I wanted to, so when you were telling me what you wanted to do, I said, hey, it'd be really amazing. I'd love to support you and help you with your speaking.

You know, so that you want it because you said you wanted to do, you know, do speaking, you wanted to get up and do this and that. if I, if, so I said, you should come to True Voice. so with a very small intimate group, it's not just teaching people, teaching techniques, right? It's deep. It's very deep. It's very intimate. It's very deep. And it's peeling back those layers. And we have an award. It's called the Ruby Slipper Awards. I don't let her think that I just said she earned it and she

She that night, it was hard the night before they came and delivered their talks. It was really hard. And, but I think that you got the love and support that you, couldn't run and we were going to get it out of you. Everybody, the whole, everybody was going to get it, get it out of you. And you won the Ruby Slip Award. So you earned that. And so part of winning the Ruby Slip Award is that somebody gets, you know, they earned the opportunity to be a part of the event. So let me.

just wanted to honor you because you are not.

I'm going to very uncomfortably receive that. I know that when I'm in my 80s and 90s, I will look back at that True Voice experience as a watershed for me for a number of reasons. One of the most important ones is that Sandy was there and that Sandy believed in me. And our dear friend Sandy is no longer on this earth. She lives in all of us. But it was, going back to what you said about the tribe, it was

Speaker 2 (47:29.332)
A tribe of women I had met four days earlier who I bared my soul to because they made me they they provided a safe place where I was not judged. I and I was believed in when I felt like I felt like I was walking around without skin. I felt so raw because I didn't think I had what it took. And one of the things that sets you apart, Lauren, in this world is that.

You have a superpower of seeing in women what they aren't yet able to see in themselves, but you don't stop there. You are committed to helping pull it out of them and you're passionate about it. And that to me is what OWN IT is all about.

Yeah, I will have to agree. Some people don't wanna hear it. There's some, I was really, I remember about five years ago, I was really wanting to help them. I really loved them. I loved their heart and some of the things. My intention was to help them. I saw the path. I saw where it was 10 years later. It's interesting that you said one year at a time because when I look at...

what I'm creating, I have a 10 year plan of what I see. Like I look and I'm like, I see all of you. Like I'm like, I hope that they hang out with us because 10 years from now, here's how I see them playing as part of this community, right? And so that, that tenure and I even look at the 20 years, right? Like what I'm going to be 80. Like I look at like, what does it look like 20 years from now? And it's funny that it's hilarious. I wish I had, I'm on the wrong computer here, but.

It's so freaking crazy that, you know, I did call it own your worth the first two years. And then I changed the name as you know, but I was like, why did I, what happened that I changed the name and why was I so committed to change the name? And you know, like a little, you know, a little bit of the backstory, we dealt with some things, but I also, it's crazy how I manifested it. So on the other computer,

Speaker 1 (49:32.238)
is a sticky note that has been on my computer for four years. Like about four years. And what happened was my friend Pam called me and she goes, hey, Tony wants you to do wealth mastery virtual. And I'm like, Pam, no, he doesn't. And she's like, yeah, he does. And I'm like, no, doesn't. go, first of all, I've never taught wealth mastery. I'm the life mastery girl. I'm not the wealth mastery girl. And I've never taught wealth.

He goes, well, he wants you to teach it because Scott can't come over and he wants you to teach it. So I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. does. And then I get the call and I'm like, he does want me to teach it. So they sent me all of these videos. They sent me all of these transcripts. And once again, just like what we all do, go into that comparison stage. my gosh, that's not my story or this isn't, it's not. So I went and I wrote a sticky note.

says own it exclamation point and I put it on my computer and every time I watched the videos and then I had this other picture myself from when I did this like photo shoot and I'm like pointing at the camera like this. And so I would look at that picture and I would like as I was watching the videos it said own it and know and then I would watch everything and like you got this, you got this, you got this and then right there.

If I were look at my manifestation board, the one right there, right there, it says own it. On that board over there, I have 30 boards on my wall right now. That board over there says own it. And then I went to the storage unit to put together the swag bags, because you know how much I love swag. my God, wait, she's...

I love that you love swag for the record.

Speaker 1 (51:15.534)
I go to get the swag bags. I'm gonna go get all this stuff. You the boxes, that's why I broke her nails. And I get the swag, the stuff to give to the girl to put together the swag bags. And I opened the box, this one box of pens that I had printed the first year and on the pens, it says own it exclamation point. And so the reason why I changed the name is like, we are so worthy. The example that I use,

way too all the time, way too often I say, but it's so just important is that when there's a mountain and a park pulls away from the mountain, what do we call it? We call it a landslide. We call it an avalanche. We call it like, you know, something else. And, but the truth is it's still part of the mountain. And I think for so many of us, we forget there's abundance everywhere. We're still part of

whatever this bigger thing is, this universe is, whatever you want to call it. And we just pull away. We create that separation. We do. And so I want people to remember, what do you mean? You know, our dear friend, Tamberlade, I think that her message is so important of the trees, talk to each other. A tree never stands alone. A tree has communication, is totally talking to the other trees. I don't...

I think you were on the call when Sandy, did, Tamberley did that beautiful session for Sandy. and we did this beautiful, she had us connect to the trees and talk to the trees and it was amazing. And I like really felt, could literally feel this communication happening and to own it for me means owning all of it, owning, owning every part of your story, even the parts that you don't think are beautiful. They, they made you who you are and it brought you to this point.

And so owning it and seeing that, like, God for all that that has happened because now it is who I am and I'm owning all of me. So I'm excited. We're owning it through dance, through music, through, you know, just every element, financial, health. And so.

Speaker 2 (53:35.34)
And we're

Don't wait till you have the food, amazing.

So if you want to know more about Own It, which is happening on March 7th, 8th, and 9th, please hit me up. There'll be all this information in the show notes. I've got some tickets to give away. So you want to reach out to me. Make sure you either email me or DM me. Everybody knows how to find me. But you want to get yourself there. I've got virtual tickets that I would love to give away. We just want to get as many women there as possible to own it.

There's one final comment I want to make about that, and then I have one last question for you. When you were talking earlier in the interview about evolution, I don't know if that's the word you used, but we were talking about how things just, as you evolve, as you grow, as you change, and you audit, it's interesting because as you were talking about own your worth versus own it, to me, it feels like an evolution.

It feels like an expansion. And you know that my word for 2025 is this is my year to expand. And so when I think about own your worth, it feels like it was own your worth and it feels like it's like, like an umbrella. Like it's now.

Speaker 1 (54:54.83)
I'm like, for me, was like, even like when I would say it, I'd be like, oh, do my worth, I'm like, why the hell do I not feel that I'm worthy? What the hell is wrong with me? Of course I'm freaking, of course I'm freaking the girl that owns it. Like I said, I think lots of times that we create things for us. And then once we learn the lesson, once we learn that lesson, all right, I freaking know my worth. Like, I mean, me, forget, oh, my worth? No.

I like know my worth. So I think I went from that feeling of, okay, helping people that own their worth to, no, I know my worth. This is ridiculous. And now I'm just owning it. Like, not everybody's gonna love me, but you know what? That's too bad for them because like, I know my heart. I know who I am. I know what I stand for here in the world. And I'm owning all of me because I know that I'm here to...

make the world a better place. I'm here to like bring everybody else along with me, anybody that wants, come on, come on. There's enough for everybody. You know, if I could put every single one of my, give every single one of my friends the opportunity, and I will, right? Like I'm gonna launch the birthday parties everywhere around the country and in the DR, I'm gonna launch the luncheons everywhere around the world. Why not? Why wouldn't I wanna see all my friends win? So, but we're doing it and creating that momentum. That's really what it's about.

Yeah. And the last thing I'm going to say about the Own It is we do create things for ourselves, but I think we also, as our missions evolve, you were giving a gift and guidance to women to own their worth. And now it's like, it's time to step it up, right? It's time to set a new standard, right? It's time to step up a little bit more and own it in the bedroom, own it in the boardroom.

Own it in your car, own it in the store, own it in your mission, own it in your body. It's time to fucking own it because life is so short. And if there's one thing you and I have seen in the last year with all of those people who lost their lives and their livelihoods in Asheville in a blink of an eye, we get one opportunity at this damn life. And what are we going to do with it? We're going to own it. Period. Story.

Speaker 2 (57:10.838)
And I'm so.

Speaker 2 (58:24.642)
Where's your emotional home, right?

Speaker 2 (58:59.298)
Exactly.

Speaker 2 (59:21.886)
Absolutely. I got one final question for you. I asked it of all my guests and I shamelessly ripped it off from Jen Hatmaker. She's one of my favorite podcasters and I haven't been able to find a question that I love as much as this one. It's from Barbara Brown Taylor and you can answer it any way you want. Just the first thing comes to your mind. What is saving your life right now?

Speaker 2 (59:47.65)
Just from your instinct, what is saving your life right now?

Speaker 2 (59:54.414)
Are you looking at Martha?

Speaker 2 (59:59.176)
It can literally be anything. It can be funny, can be serious.

Speaker 2 (01:01:01.834)
Thank you so much for just sharing yourself with my community. It means the world to me and

Well, I love you so much and you're never getting rid of me.

Speaker 2 (01:01:31.704)
Well, I love you very much.